these walls have closed in

 

i pushed a lullabye

out with paint,

i spilled it on the canvas

that would cover your grave.

 

i spent so many years

just dreaming of you

and then you came

without warning,

 

and then you came again-

too early.

 

i didn’t mean to sing so loudly,

i didn’t mean to rush you.

i was only trying to calm your twisting,

kicking against my walls,

your home.

 

i was trying not to crumble

beneath the weight.

i was only wanting you to feel safe,

for you to stay.

 

i’m sorry if i wasn’t better prepared,

that the walls i provided

were aged with scar tissue

and unhealthy baggage.

 

i really miss you

and dream of you everyday,

i know you would be beautiful

and smart and just

all the things.

all of the very right things.