Lessons Learned

Why am I dating the same age of boys that I dated when I was 15?

Is it because I was less then desirable in middle school?

The second I got to highschool I looked different and I was being called pretty and hot and sexy

And even though I disagreed I was finally getting attention

I was told I had a beautiful body and that was all I ever had wanted

Little did I know it wasn’t real

I was too young to know they only wanted one thing

It could also be because I don’t like who I am

Constantly searching for the bad ones, why?

Because thats what I deserve right?

Getting that attention means someone likes me more then I do

Little did  know they would only like me until they got bored

I was too young to know this wasn’t love

Or is it because I grew up watching my parents argue everyday

My image of a relationship had been tainted by spewing words after too many drinks

This was the relationship no one wanted 

This is the relationship I would later find myself in

Constantly screaming and fighting

Broke down just be built back up again

A torturous cycle 

Little did I know this wasn’t okay

I was too young to know that I needed to leave

I’m older now and I don’t need the male validation I once craved

I don’t need the attention because I learned it wasn’t real

Im older now and I know which ones are good.

I learned what love is and I definitely know what it isn’t

I older now and I recognized not to follow my parents footsteps.

I know to do better and I learned that isn’t what a relationship is supposed to look like.

I’m older now and I learned how to have boundaries 

I learned it is okay to leave.

Im older now and I have found out that all the bad are lessons learned.