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mini.katie

I wish I could say I'm better for good.

It's always, I'm better, and then downward 

slope.

For every once in a while, my arms tingle

as the voice whispers, "just once, please?"

 

And I scream and scream and cry and panic.

for what do I do?

How do I stop an invisible force?

How do you stop yourself?

 

I'll hear my younger self whisper 

"I want to go home",

and I know she does not mean a place.

 

We always meant we wanted to go where

It felt like home, a person. A feeling.

 

But one by one, home leaves.

Home doesn't stay.

 

Home ignores you and stops showing up for things.

 

Home stops calling. Home stops texting.

You hear from home once a month.

Maybe less.

 

And we search and search till there's

 a new home and we smother it.

 

For we do not know patience.

We were never taught.

 

And as I sit crying on the floor,

she weeps, "I want to go home!"

 

And through blinded eyes and with shaky

voice I whisper to her, soon.

 

We will go home soon.

I promise.

 

I just keep breaking my promise to her.

  • Author: Kat Pointer (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: May 18th, 2022 16:14
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 8
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Comments +

Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    impassioned wording, there's an urgency
    your poetry's structure, reinforces
    and a surrender, to that inevitability
    of self-harming, cyclical
    tendency's, we find so hard to break
    free - from
    imbued in your lines..
    (really well executed
    you did well to balance your artistry
    with your sincerity
    I feel privileged to have read these brave
    words
    thanks for sharing)
    stay strong!
    and try to take it all
    one
    battle, at a time

    • mini.katie

      Thank you for your kind words 🙂



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