The war between heart and mind

Hurtbutterfly

What is wrong with me.

why do I know better but can’t act on it.

why do I.

i know that we are the ones in control of where our lives go. 
do I not deserve better?

why do I keep myself stupid.

every quiet day is an argument in my head.

you deserve better.

they don’t know where or what they want in life.

but I do. I’ve always known what I’ve wanted.

why do I fight myself. Why do I know but can’t find the right approach or just ...get up and blurt it out and pack my things...is it being scared of not being able to raise my kids alone?...no? 
is it having hope they will see there’s more to life?...idk having a heart feels like it kills me slowly...I drive myself crazy thinking everyday of these things...

i know that I will snap.

i know I will be fed up.

but why wait. Why THE FUCK. Do I wait....

  • Author: Hurtbutterfly (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 2nd, 2022 20:07
  • Comment from author about the poem: I need insight. I need true guidance...real opinions too young to let myself go to waste over others is what it feels like...kids that depend on me.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 31
  • User favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek.
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Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    (I'm so sorry for my lengthy
    and overtly opinionated words below, dear poet
    try to imagine, I meant well
    and was in my own foolish way
    trying to offer, some words
    of support and encouragement
    please, forgive me if you find them toxic
    instead..
    thanks for sharing
    stay strong! I have a feeling
    you and your loved ones
    are going to be, ok
    take it all
    one breath and step at a time
    and remember
    to reward yourself once in a while
    for no reason, than you deserve it!)
    don't ever confuse, 'Waiting'
    for being 'Torpid' or lethargic
    see
    as children, before
    we cross the road
    we're told, to look
    right and left
    and as we grow up
    we realise
    there's a lot more
    danger's
    than mere on-coming traffic
    in our life's, paths
    so we learn, to slow down
    to 'Wait'
    till things, Feel - right
    think over our options
    contemplate
    our choices and mistakes
    try to grow and insure
    we make Better, choices
    in our future..
    but
    we do all this, in our subconscious
    and until
    we've worked through it
    and distilled
    our threads, into realisable
    tools
    in our everyday, reality
    we seldom, realise
    we're in the process of making
    that next leap, that next evolution
    to the Person, we Know
    we can
    Become...
    so waiting, like patience
    can, be a Virtue
    and in my honest opinion
    anything, in Life
    that is meant for us, no one
    can take from Us
    we need only, be ready
    to maximise our opportunities
    and not rush to assumptions
    and mistakenly, confuse
    those accursed mirages
    for tangible, aspirations...!

    • Hurtbutterfly

      Thank you so much for your comment, i cant sleep I’ve been reading what I’ve posted over and over, at the same time trying to shake my frustrations, your comment has given me some relief and reminder to just focus on the important and to keep going.. yes as they say patience is a virtue. Oh and how I loved the part “anything in life that’s meant for us, no one can take from us “



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