I needn’t say this again,
Fall on me
World,
Mother,
Nature.
An eclipse, a disaster,
A picture-perfect moment.
I,
And the toc-toc-toc-toc.
Rock me to perfect refinement in a barren cradle,
With a tic-tic-tic-tic.
And a sickening need to release it all,
Fire,
Fall,
Vines and I,
And you.
And the asphyxiation of the world’s requirements.
But I will thump-thump-thump-thump
This old rotten apple until the end of me.
I needn’t say this again,
Allow the heavy sky to fall...to collapse on my frail grin.
But the old, dusty thing will continue to throb.
Until I molt you like snakeskin.
-
Author:
Rocky Lagou (
Offline) - Published: June 3rd, 2022 12:51
- Comment from author about the poem: This is unrefined, unrevised, and raw. It's one of the few times I post a poem in this condition, but I think it allows it to bring out its essence.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 47
Offline)
Comments6
You are so good at metaphors/similes! That last line is like a kick in the gut, but in a good way. Really beautiful and evocative.
Hello dear poet, thanks abundantly for your super kind comment! This poem was really a hectic torrent of emotions just bursting from inside of me, it was quite a cathartic experience to be honest. And to see you enjoyed my metaphors and words truly mean the world to me, it's people like you that encourage me to go on. The last line is really that final release, like a total liberation from all your past life hardships and acceptance of change, so I tried to metaphorize that with the shedding of old snakeskin. Thanks again, have a marvelous day!
Good write Rocky.
Hi Orchi, thanks so much, I'm honestly delighted to hear your words.
Beautiful imagery and I love how you test your own limit, with every poem you write, it gets better and better, Never stop
Omg, I could literally burst with emotions after reading this uberly generous comment. Thanks so so much. And you literally epitomized my writing in the best way possible: "testing my own limit." It's so true, I feel that poetry is all about seeing just how far you can push yourself from "comfort zones" and "norms" to end up with a product that is powerful. I honestly cherish your appreciation. Have a beautiful day!
No problem!!! 🙂 and yes it is, it´s all about taking risks and seeing how far you can go. And your poetry specifically is one of the most powerful types. It´s like your poetry is in its own category of beauty. I hope you have a good day too!
I enjoyed this poem, particularly it's ending. A very good Write!
Thank you so so so much dear poet. I'm very glad to see that the ending was a highlight for you as I wanted that line to be like the grand finale. A sort of resolution that is only made possible through the speaker's transformation. May you have a wonderful day!
A wonderful montage of ideas, words and images. Your last line is what gives it total meaning and ties it all together. Very well done.
Hello beloved Sorren. Thanks so much for the kindhearted words. I wanted this piece to feel hectic and almost as if it were "moving." So I'm so warmed to see you felt that atmosphere. You're so kind, and I wish you a great day!
I can feel the restlessness or let me say all going upside down type of moments that asks us to take a break .....refresh and come back to life .....I liked the way you painted everything in our life. In such moments we all look this way only.
I hope I got you right.
You got it right dear poet! I love it when people take the time to read some of my older poems because it shows a genuine appreciation for the poet's works. So thank you so so much for checking this one out and writing such a heartfelt comment. This poem is definitely one that I wrote during a moment of cathartic release where I just purged out of me all the chaos in my life. I think sometimes the world's requirements can become so overwhelming, so this one compares releasing the world (perhaps via death) as a snake releasing it's dead skin. I think it's important to nurture ourselves with self-care, so I just hope this serves as a catalyst for just that. Much love and stay safe, thanks once again!
A in depth understanding to this subject. Indeed we should shed off our past like snake skins and learn to move forwards always. good one.
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