Not now, Fido!

orchidee



This was inspired partly by a headline:

'Not now, poisonous spiders:

Ain't we got enough troubles already?'

---------

Oh, come on, Fido

Let me have some 'passion' and 'excitement'

Just a bit - now and again!

Why you always bark at me fiercely

If I even contemplate it?!

 

I know you're only trying to save me from swoons

But you're a real pest sometimes, Fido

You'll have to go out the back garden for a while

And I will let me hair down

You won't see it - 

What you don't see, won't hurt ya!

If ya don't see it

It may save YOU from swooning!

 

KP, me wife, is back soon

From her six months holiday alone

Of course, she was never alone

Being in the newspapers (with pics of course)

Or at The Botox Clinic

Or with friends at The Old Trout Club

 

You can bark at her all you like, Fido

Tune up those woofs and yaps

Don't let her in the front door even

Scare her off when she returns!

 

But gimme some peace, Fido

Lemme have some passion

If just a little......

Heehee.

 

  • Author: orchidee (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 13th, 2022 01:53
  • Comment from author about the poem: Adventures with Fido - or without him for a while!
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 24
  • User favorite of this poem: Accidental Poet.
Get a free collection of Classic Poetry ↓

✔ Receive the ebook in seconds ✔ 50 poems from 50 different authors


Comments6

  • orchidee

    Aww, can ya sympathise with me? It's me too sheltered life, ya know. I blame Fido! lol.

  • Doggerel Dave

    Wot a complicated life you and Fido live orchi. How you have lasted since 1066 (or was it before?) is beyond me. Wot about that divorce and freedom?

    • orchidee

      Thanks Dave. Well, Goldfinch and I are millions of years old, so we say - we saw the dinosaurs in person! lol. KP tricked me into marriage one Halloween - what other day could it have been?!

      • Doggerel Dave

        But you have had more than enough Halloweens to wriggle your way out of what sounds to me, although I stand to be corrected, a pretty loveless marriage.
        I do hope Fido doesn't tire of his attempts to keep you on the straight and narrow.
        No need to ask you to stay well - you have managed it for........ how many years....?

        • 3 more comments

      • arqios

        Not now, Dido.

        • orchidee

          Thanks CB. Obscure and bizarre things and people were found when I googled Dido!

          • arqios

            Oh dear, it was only for rhyming with Fido! 😮

          • Bella Shepard

            Ah, the joys of dog ownership and marriage. Just keep them straight and you should be fine. What a fun write, gave me a really good chuckle!

            • orchidee

              Thanks Bella. It's an imaginary dog really. Is it my conscience in fact?!

              • Bella Shepard

                Whether real or imaginary you own him, and he does sound very special. It does save on dog food and maintenance I imagine.

                • 3 more comments

              • Accidental Poet

                And from Fido, "Not now Orchi". 😆

                • orchidee

                  Thanks AP. lol.

                • Neville


                  Remember mate, a snog is for life .. not just for the C word ........ swoon on Mr. O 🙂

                  • orchidee

                    Unhappily, you are not the only one back - KP is back now also. She's been spared jail yet again. Her time will come! They probably didn't recognise her trout-like appearance cos of the botox. I'm cruel to her. lol.



                  To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.