This was inspired partly by a headline:
'Not now, poisonous spiders:
Ain't we got enough troubles already?'
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Oh, come on, Fido
Let me have some 'passion' and 'excitement'
Just a bit - now and again!
Why you always bark at me fiercely
If I even contemplate it?!
I know you're only trying to save me from swoons
But you're a real pest sometimes, Fido
You'll have to go out the back garden for a while
And I will let me hair down
You won't see it -
What you don't see, won't hurt ya!
If ya don't see it
It may save YOU from swooning!
KP, me wife, is back soon
From her six months holiday alone
Of course, she was never alone
Being in the newspapers (with pics of course)
Or at The Botox Clinic
Or with friends at The Old Trout Club
You can bark at her all you like, Fido
Tune up those woofs and yaps
Don't let her in the front door even
Scare her off when she returns!
But gimme some peace, Fido
Lemme have some passion
If just a little......
Heehee.
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Author:
orchidee (
Offline) - Published: June 13th, 2022 01:53
- Comment from author about the poem: Adventures with Fido - or without him for a while!
- Category: Humor
- Views: 24
- Users favorite of this poem: Accidental Poet
Offline)
Comments6
Aww, can ya sympathise with me? It's me too sheltered life, ya know. I blame Fido! lol.
Wot a complicated life you and Fido live orchi. How you have lasted since 1066 (or was it before?) is beyond me. Wot about that divorce and freedom?
Thanks Dave. Well, Goldfinch and I are millions of years old, so we say - we saw the dinosaurs in person! lol. KP tricked me into marriage one Halloween - what other day could it have been?!
But you have had more than enough Halloweens to wriggle your way out of what sounds to me, although I stand to be corrected, a pretty loveless marriage.
I do hope Fido doesn't tire of his attempts to keep you on the straight and narrow.
No need to ask you to stay well - you have managed it for........ how many years....?
Ahh, probably Fido keeps me tied in this marriage. He don't let me have any passion or that sort of stuff. There's no chance of that, being married to KP. lol.
Oh well , you seem to have reached some kind o acceptance, orchi - which is admirable!
Oohh, I continue in years of misery in marriage. Oh, I love it! heehee.
Not now, Dido.
Thanks CB. Obscure and bizarre things and people were found when I googled Dido!
Oh dear, it was only for rhyming with Fido! 😮
Ah, the joys of dog ownership and marriage. Just keep them straight and you should be fine. What a fun write, gave me a really good chuckle!
Thanks Bella. It's an imaginary dog really. Is it my conscience in fact?!
Whether real or imaginary you own him, and he does sound very special. It does save on dog food and maintenance I imagine.
Yes lol. KP is Kate Price (in UK), a celebrity. It seems she tricked me into marriage one dark day - Halloween! I'm horrible to her, so I say. Another one of my eccentricities in this poem. lol.
Well, Fido barks fiercely at people who should mark certain poems 18+, but who 'forget' to do so!
You are a joy!
'Fraid it's true about the Botox though! lol.
And from Fido, "Not now Orchi". 😆
Thanks AP. lol.
Remember mate, a snog is for life .. not just for the C word ........ swoon on Mr. O 🙂
Unhappily, you are not the only one back - KP is back now also. She's been spared jail yet again. Her time will come! They probably didn't recognise her trout-like appearance cos of the botox. I'm cruel to her. lol.
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