skies are grey

you were a sunbeam in my unremitting darkness
you were unrelenting sanity
but I closed the shutters again
I don't know how to join you on that hill
I don't know if I ever will 
comfortable with the familiar
even when the familiar tastes so bitter
won't play to win
so I won't lose, I won't ever lose
so tell me how the hell, darling, did I lose you?

you became the new meter, you know
against which I measured all who came after you