Do you remember my first day of school?
So many kids roaming the streets, the weather cool
But i was cold and trembling and i cried a lot that day
Yet i put on a brave smile and i went there anyway
Were you proud of me?
When i was small and fearless, not threatened by love
When my mind was not darkened and i believed in God
When i had a whole kingdom built from water and sand
When i didn't mind the falls and I'd always stand back up
Were you proud of me?
When i had dreams to be great and i worked so hard
Although teachers and classmates told me I'm not good enough
I was a timid kid but i tried my best to be strong
Yet your shellfish hands always expected more and more
Weren't you proud of me?
When my sister would go out because her worth was proven
I'd stay home and study cause i was a weaker student
She had her fun and better marks and she would always win
I had sleepless nights and questions and no friends to play with
Were you proud of me?
Are you proud of me now that i skip my classes and stare with bloodshot eyes?
Are you proud of me for surviving a big fall though it determined the whole fight?
Are you proud now that the substance abuse is my shield and every day i throw up?
Now that time has scorched my kingdom and destroyed my castles of sand?
Are you proud now that I've given up on your approval and I'm sick
Are you proud of me for fighting this sickness though I'm weak?
And when one day i die a lonely grandma in front of an old TV
Tell me, after everything is done, will you be proud of me?
Are you proud of me?
You should be proud of me!
When i get up I'll find my worth and scream it harder
For now remember every line that i write father
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Author:
sadkw33n (
Offline) - Published: July 11th, 2022 08:34
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 39
Offline)
Comments1
I am almost in tears… I am the comparatively weaker child in the house. My brother though younger ,enjoys life yet scores well. He is really talented in everything he does! Yet I should try hard in everything but still it doesn’t seem to be enough because I can never top off that bar that is set for me. I was never good at math and that made my father feel really bad but my brother is great in it, so they bond a lot. I often feel that my dad is not proud of me and considers me a weaker child. This literally speaks to me like most of your poems! Sorry for blabbing about myself 😅I couldn’t help it.
It really takes courage to talk about stuff like that and I'm proud of you for doing so. It's not my place to talk and I'm sorry if I'm intruding, but i think you should try to "set a bar" for yourself. When we have goals they should be realistic so we can grow steadily. I'm sure you're capable of doing a lot of things and that you're good at them (poetry for instance 😉). So find your own worth. It doesn't matter what others want for you but what you want for you. You have the right to live a good life... actually it's your birthright. Since you were born into this world you deserve acceptance and love. I'm sure there are things you can do better than your brother. You will find them in time. Remember, you don't have to be perfect to deserve love and appreciation! You were born here, so there's gotta be a place for you in this world. You're so kind all of the time, i believe that kindness can help lots of people! You deserve so much. So don't let anyone "steal" your worth with their opinion. I don't know if it means anything, but i think you're good enough! Stay strong! God bless you!
I really appreciate you taking the time to type this for me, I am really touched😊 I try to think I am enough but sometimes family conversations though harmless trigger negative feelings and even when exams are close it’s kind of strong. But you are right, I shouldn’t be comparing myself and should know my worth and though it can be hard sometimes,I’ll try my best. And no, you aren’t invading in any way, your words mean a lot my friend! Thankyou so much, it made my day! You are very kind💖
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