sexy is taking his clothes off
in the swimming pool locker room

and thinking

maybe he should start eating in the restaurant after the swim
instead of just having a sandwich and coffee as usually

there is a restaurant just across the road
quite good
not very expensive

then he realises that this time
he brought a giant chocolate cake with him

family size
6 portions
all for himself

which means that he will eat even worse
than just a sandwich and coffee
today

exactly when he started thinking
about maybe eating a proper meal in the restaurant
after every swim
as it is healthier and more fun
than just a sandwich and coffee

it would also give him the motivation
to swim more often
as he’d be looking forward
swim and sauna and restaurant
three good reasons (instead of just two) to get out of the bed

but this time he’ll just stuff himself with carbs
after the swim
won’t even have the sandwich
cause this chocolate cake is so enormous
that no one could eat a sandwich before or after that
and sexy is too stingy to just throw away part of the cake

became stingy overnight
on cote d’ azur

woke up one morning
and his wallet looked slimmer than usually
phoned the lawyer who was supposed to be
letting out his real estates in another country
but the crook wasn’t even available for the chat

only his secretary was
as quite a few times before
at which point sexy understood
that thief is trying to steal those properties
while sexy is far away
rather than let them out

fraudster was taking advantage of the fact
that the war broke up there
and sexy couldn’t return
without risking draft
just like in the movie
“terminal”
which is really about sexy

people like trenc and spielberg and cohen
always find something that reminds them of sexy
like the ghost of the captain in “the ghost and ms muir”
or captain red in “pirates”
or frank abagnale ("catch me if you can")
or mehran nasseri ("terminal")
or muammar gaddafi (“dictator”)
or andreas kronthaler ("bruno")

then they make a movie about sexy
while pretending that it is about “someone else”

and moreover
on another level
they even pretend that sexy is someone else
very different from what he really is

this is why such guys are “pillars of the society”
their spinning (and spiel-bering) abilities are paranormal
multifaceted

sexy’s train of thought is then interrupted
by a chinese guy in the swimming pool
who suddenly offers to eat half of the cake

sexy is surprised
but not very much

confucius
sun tzu
chinese guys are taught-readers
and their iq’s
are highest on earth
alongside japanese, korean, and belorussian
(though you won’t find accurate info
about belorussian iq’s
on the internet any more
it was censored
when the war in ukraine started)

nevertheless
sexy is surprised and confused
sufficiently to blurt out
“ok”
though he doesn’t really want to
give half of the cake
to an unknown person
in the swimming pool locker room
as he is stingy
since the previously described morning
in the south of france

luckily he remembers
that he has only one plastic spoon
so he says to the chinese guy
that “unfortunately” he can’t share the cake with him
because of that

but the chinese man is adamant
and even becomes a bit aggressive

he says:

“i can eat first
then i’ll wash the spoon
and you can eat with the freshly washed one
your half of the cake
afterwards

or
you can even wash it yourself
if you want to be sure
that it is washed well

isn’t that what you say
to chinese girls
who are reluctant
about licking your rectum?”

sexy is now truly surprised
this guy is more than just a thought-reader
he has the real inside info


but he is also offended
by this indiscretion
so he says:

“my penis is desensitised
since the bike accident in copenhagen
which wasn’t really accident
extraterrestrials scripted and conducted it
i know that for sure
cause similar thing happened
to michael hutchence in copenhagen
after which he lost the sense of smell and taste
so he didn’t enjoy licking pussy very much anymore
while my penis was partly disabled
and quite desensitised
during that traffic accident in copehagen
this is why i am mostly asking girls
to lick my nipples and rectum
but i have no preference for chinese ones
nationality and race
are irrelevant to me”

he is walking away
taking his cake with him
while saying so

but chinese guy now becomes even more arrogant
he walks after sexy
and shouts:

“you should never touch chinese girls!”

sexy replies:

“didn’t i just explain
that i never touch them
i just ask them to lick my
nipples and rectum
but i don’t care if they are chinese
or english
or whatever else
this matters not to me

the one that is touching chinese girls
is DRK
boogy buggery man
you can find him at public piano
across the road
maybe he will give you some cake
if he has any
which i doubt
but it is worth trying
cause you won’t get it from me
i have now defo decided
to eat my cake without you"

chinese guy then starts screaming
at the top of his voice:

"DRK was not touching chinese girl
he only touched the flag!"

sexy replies:

"there are different versions of that
totally scripted event
some say that he touched the flag
others say he touched the girl
and those are more reliable sources
cause DRK is a blatant liar
in one of his videos you can see him
deliberately dropping on the ground
when one little girl tried to play the piano

then he accuses her of pushing him
even threatens her with a security guard
though it is clearly visible in the video
that this 5-year-old girl
didn’t touch him at all

i shall therefore repeat:
DRK is touching chinese girls
i don’t"


“chinese guy” then angrily takes off his mask
and it transpires that it is DRK himself

sexy is now defo surprised, and he asks:

"what are you doing here, DRK?
don’t you have your own swimming pool?"

DRK shouts:

"i have it, but i wanted to swim in the same water in which you swim
just like everyone in london wants to steal your cans of beans, tuna, ham, and peas
though you have cameras all over the apartment
vietnamese-style traps
and you even smeared poison on some of those cans
which means that it would be safer to steal in the supermarket
but people want your cans so badly
cause you have touched them
this is why i want to swim here
though i have my own swimming pool

and

i have got the swimming pool only thanks to you
i was always browbeaten hearing you say
'i have to go now' (away from the public piano)
'as i booked the swimming session' (those state-owned pools and saunas must be pre-booked since lockdown)
and my masters gave me a swimming pool because of that
as everything around this public piano is rigged against you, rigged for me
so they wanted to be sure not only that i had more views on youtube
but also that you can never say anything that would make me depressed"

sexy turns around
sticks the whole freaking chocolate cake onto DRK’s face
runs across the street
and start playing the public piano
being sure that DRK will need at least half an hour
to wash that giant cake off his face
before he starts bothering people at the piano again
as he does
every day