I don’t feel much of anything right now
Or maybe its that I feel to much
Its overwhelming me
Drowning me
It feels like there’s a hole in my body
A gaping wound in my chest
I’m crushed by expectations I have placed on myself
I’m tortured by change that has yet to happen
But I know it’s inevitable
I try to distract myself
Fling myself into another world
Another reality
It worked for a couple hours
But how can I continue like this
I feel something akin to fear, sadness, and loneliness all at the same time
I can’t do this alone
I feel such a pull to tell someone
Anyone
I almost did the other day
But distrust and worry got the better of me
I didn’t want to kill the mood
But I just want someone to hug me
Tell me everything is ok
That what I’m feeling is normal
That my emotions are valuable
That they mean something in this huge, unending universe
I’m not doing well today
I feel like I’m going to collapse
Melt right into the floor
Disappear
Sometimes I want to peel my skin off
Be free from my body
I’m so sick and tired of this
The change is coming closer with every word I’m writing
And somehow, I’m only now realizing that change arrived a long time ago
It’s just solidifying now
Becoming something permanent
I don’t know what to do anymore
I’m so sick of this
I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this
I want to go back
Back to when I was so obliviously sure of everything
But time won’t let me
I want to scream and cry but the tears won’t leak out of my face
God save me from this torture
Help me let go of these feelings that are making it impossible to speak
To move
To live
I know others definitely have it worse
And yet that doesn’t lessen my pain
It feels like a prison of my own making
What will happen to me now
Im scared
Im tired
Im feeling everything so strongly
Yet I don’t feel anything at all
-
Author:
H. Jordan (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: July 17th, 2022 17:18
- Comment from author about the poem: change is a hard thing to tackle especially when you're not used to it. more importantly when you feel you have no one to talk to about it. this was me when I was starting to apply for college and realizing that my childhood was starting to end.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 14
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek, Sophenia
Offline)
Comments3
Change is inevitable, and most painful on the cusp of adulthood. It’s like all your support network is falling away. In fact it’s usually still there but your expectations change….good write!
thank you!!
numbed: Raw
from
being overwhelmed
by it all..
(great job
you did well, to empty it all
and let Poesy, help
carry some of your load)
'we Must
Utilise
our Art!'
exemplary, thanks for sharing
keep digging, keep excavating
keep striving for that
introspection, self-emancipation
hope
I see you, on that ragged path
dear Poet
thank you so much! I always enjoy your literary perspective on my poems!
This poem is an exact reflection of how I am feeling. Change feels scary, but I also know deep within that I deserve it. But it's not easy to speak the words I am feeling. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem!
Of course! I'm so glad that my poem spoke to you. emotions are not easy:)
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