fear and loathing in my bed

i can feel my brain breaking 
it’s beginning to buzz and false fire synapses
i’m going completely fucking mad as it happens
and i’m helpless, i don’t really give a shit either 
i wouldn’t be buzzing so violently 
if hadn’t kept myself awake 
for the last 72 hours 
doing drugs of assorted strengths
i can really feel my brain really breaking though 
right at the seems 
i can finally see inside my skull 
and it must be because it’s the beginning of the end 
the final euphoric eye roll 
staring at my own mind malfunction
the grey matter finally a dull lifeless grey 
a dusty concrete that housed memories 
long long ago 
i can feel my brain breaking 
my hands shaking 
my whole fucking body quaking at the horror 
of my own awful self induced nightmare
it’s amazing 
i can actually see my brain breaking 
my eyes darting 
my vision blurry 
it’s starting to make me worry if this is it 
catatonic cataracts and acid flashbacks 
my ears only hear music, even in the absence of it
so when i can hear, the rhythm, of my breaking brain 
it must be all my memories scaling the walls 
and pounding the pavement that cemented 
my self identity, crumbling around me
and my brain hears it as a song 
the buzzing, i heard it all along
but it soon stops and i’ll drop 
and my brain will be on display, 
pouring out my mouth all over the ground, 
leaking out my ears and eyes all wide open and dry
my head, like a hole, will be but pounded skull 
and my grey tissue will look like
illusively slippery sidewalk
and people too stupid to see the rest of me and slip 
might, with a little luck 
hit themselves so fucking hard 
that they’ll hear their brain buzzing 
and their eyes will blur