surrounded by a fortress of
towering mountains
rocky and jagged
teeth for a face
yet evergreen
guarded
at the base,
the isolation
here
is
breath-
taking.
sadly there is
no
such
solitude
not for me
a cursed carnival carnivore
perpetually parlayed by people
pompously pushing
their agonizing
agendas
against
me
i am trapped within
a heart-shaped
sarcophagus
made out
of cold
steel
bars
hidden away
not protected
by a fortress of mountains
shunned
a freak show
under the
big
top
© 2024 Tristan Robert Lange. All rights reserved.
-
Author:
Tristan Robert Lange (
Offline) - Published: December 16th, 2024 07:49
- Comment from author about the poem: This poem was written in the Summer of 2022 in the solitude of the Rocky Mountains. I have since updated and revised it to its current form.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 39
- Users favorite of this poem: Teddy.15, Cheeky Missy, cellinic, Qurrathul Ain
Offline)
Comments13
Remember driving around between there and the Appalachian, with Rocky Top blaring from the car stereo. Using those feelings to frame this poem. The carnival image brought a quite claustrophobic, caged feel; strong light and shade contrast between the two halves of the poem. Powerful.
Thank you, my dear friend! I live in the Appalachians, always have. I've always been within close distance to the Appalachian Trail. I have also visited the Rockies, and have been in sight of the Sierra Nevada. Technically, I have been within "sight" of the Himalayans, but the smog made it not so! Evidently, that has changed a bit since then with a decrease in pollution...go northern India. Anywho, I very much digress. I have always been a mountain kind of person. I do love oceans too...and I have always lived within 2 hours of an ocean. The best of both worlds in my view. Anyway, I have always found my home in the mountains and so that kind of "isolation"...really solitude...is just breathtaking. Cannot get enough of it...and I love to take hikes and wander a bit and find a place to plop and write. On the other hand, the later half of my poem is certainly the other form of isolation one can feel, even in the midst of people, including loved ones...but not limited to just that. Indeed, this poem goes from a wide open panoramic view of mountains to a very claustrophobic feel under the "big top". I am so very glad that the two contrasting sides of the poem delivered and that you felt that as you read it. Thank you, as always, for your close read and your insightful commentary, my friend. Very much appreciated! 🙏🖤🐦⬛
Fortress of solitude and also of internal torment- quite a Clark Kent vibe as well.
Oh yes...you've got that right! And that was EXACTLY what I was feeling when I wrote it...(well...not a superman complex...but fortress of solitude...😂). Thank you so much again, for your insightful engagement. Truly, you often shed new light for me on my own poems...and that is one of THE most rewarding things for me as a poet...discovering inner meaning in my own work that someone else pointed me to. It always humbles me. 🙏🖤 I truly appreciate you, my friend!
And thank you for doing likewise! We are agreed that such interactive feedback is the lifeblood of contemporary writing. And that it feeds the soul!
Indeed! 💯
A sad message of how we as people take nature out of its place and put in on display for our entertainment. Nicely done
Wow! Indeed! 💯 I must confess, Soren, I was writing more on my own inner emotions at the time; however, you have brilliantly found an even more profound 🤯 and, yes, tragically sad bigger picture that this poem is a metaphor for as well! Thank you for enlightening its poet, my friend! I truly value your interpretation! 🙏🖤
A very clever piece of writing with i feel an undercurrent of sadness, a very enjoyable read poetically.
Thank you so much, Tobani! I really appreciate your time and thoughts and am glad you found it resonated! Much appreciated, my friend! 🙏🖤
You are very welcome
Good write T.
Why thank you, Orchi! I appreciate your visit, kind sir! 🙏🖤
I tried to read through these words slowly and to savour them but found myself freefalling and feeling like I needed to go with the flow .. I think it may have been the drip drip dripping format which worked well .. and was responsible for that .. I also believe that I know where you are coming from when you refer to solitude and isolation (the two are not necessarily synonymous though are they) and I have found and felt both independently of the other and also simultaneously while working both in India and in West Africa & while on retreat in Thailand & Malaysia .. An impressive and compelling read if I may say so .. Neville 😎👍
Wow! I too have traveled to India…from Bangalore to the Spice mountains in Kerala to Mysore Palace to Chennai to Agra and New Delhi. Loved loved loved that 3 week cross-cultural experience my postgraduate education afforded me many years ago. Life-changing. That digression aside, thank you so much my friend. Indeed, my original structure would have afforded you that pace you were seeking to begin with…the restructuring does deliberately force that. Also, you are right…the two though similar…isolation and solitude are not the same. A very astute observation, Neville…then again I know you to be an astute observer, my friend 🙏. I cannot thank you enough, friend! You are very much appreciated! 🖤🏔️ (ha! That hear totally towers the mountain there. Looks like a tiny foothill! That foothill coild still pop the heart’s balloon though! 😂 There’s Orchi’s daftness rubbing off again! Though, as a vegeterian, I steer clear of trout ! 🤣 Sorry, Orchi, I could not resist! 🙃🤣😂😊
Great write
Thank you, kindly, Tony! Much appreciated!
You're welcome
After the great conversations above I find myself with very little to add and feel very much inclined to follow Tony’s formula here.
To the participants arqios and Neville I would (as I have to Soren) ask you to consider sharing some of your diverse experience as pastes here.
Side issue, Tristan: possible to disclose the source of your rich visuals?
Thank you, Dave, for your wonderfully engaged comment. I am truly glad that the poem resonated and that you have found the discussion to be all-encompassing and engaging. Even more than that, I am really happy you are inviting even further discussion on my poem and I do hope Neville and arqios see and consider your requests as that would be wonderfully edifying. As for my part in the continued discussion, I would be glad to disclose that with you all.
I was on vacation, staying near Rocky Mountain National Park…not too far away from the infamous Stanley Hotel of The Shining fame. Yes, those mountains there are AWESOME…and I know why they inspired that book. I was there in the Summer…I can only imagine them during the winter months. Side note, while we were there we did the ghost tour of the Stanley Hotel which was a lot of fun and well worth it.
Anyway, that aside, I was going through some real personal issues at the time and really felt isolated from my family…who I was on vacation with…but beyond them, it was 2022 and I was feeling isolated from just about everyone and everything at that time…having just come out of the Pandemic. What’s more, I suffer from chronic Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, on top of (and, no doubt, as a result of) a traumatic brain injury during my youth…which only adds to my feelings of isolation and emotional distress. So, this poem came out of the beauty, isolation and summer solitude of the Rocky Mountains and my inner emotional state at the time. For everyone’s edification, this was the original version of the poem:
Fortress of Mountains (Original Version)
Published August 2, 2022 at 8:32 p.m. on MyPoeticSide.com
Surrounded by a fortress of mountains,
Rocky and jagged at the very top,
But evergreen and guarded at the base,
The isolation here is breathtaking.
Sadly, there is no such isolation,
Not for me, for I am truly cursed.
To be surrounded by people always,
To be entombed among those who hate me.
© 2022 Tristan Robert Lange. All rights reserved.
I was reading it the other day and decided to rework it as I thought I could strengthen the imagery, tighten the language and restructure it in a way that better served the emotional content. I hope this provides a solid background and context for the poem in its current, revised form.
Again, thank you so much Dave for your deep engagement and for sparking further engagement. I truly do appreciate it! 🙏🖤🐦⬛🏔️
But what a rework! Further, I really appreciate the ensuing conversations which result from your poetry, Tristan. (Thank you for your response here). Usually much added depth to be found there. I remain interested in your pictures also.
Thank you! 🙏 Ooh. Okay. Gotcha! Digging some up! 😎
Okay, Dave cleared my weary head up on what visuals he was actually and LITERALLY asking about…the literal visuals I use on my poems. 😂 That makes me laugh hard at my lengthy previous answer…though still glad its there for the good of the order!
Now to SIMPLY answer the ACTUAL question asked: I use Adobe Photoshop…which has Firefly (AI) more ethically built into it as they got permission from artists to train their system. Not that I knew that when I started…(thank you NinjaGirl) but I am happier to use it knowing that. So, through a prompt, I have it draft up a picture related to my poem’s theme, then I add my monogram via photoshop…sometimes other elements…which I am adept at using. I hope this helps.
Well you are dragging me forward at a gallop when I try to get my head round the latest technology - thanks for that, Tristan.
You are welcome, Dave!
Beautiful work. Stunning imagery.
Thank you so much, Thomas! Much appreciated, my friend! 🙏❤️
Rocky Mountain Low, by John Denver-Lange!
🤣 LOL! Indeed...and I must confess, I did listen to some John Denver while out in the Rockies, felt like a must...especially that song! LOL! Thank you for reading and for your witty engagement, my friend. It brought a needed smile and some laughter! Always, welcome!
A brilliant poem
on the emotions felt
in the solitude being
I'm the Rocky Mountains
that day! 😳
The imagery and use of
metaphor just blew me away!! 🏆
Best regards ✌️ Thad
Thank you so much my friend. I really appreciate your feedback and praise. I am glad the poem resonated. 🙏 🖤🐦⬛
So very powerful dear Tristan, it's a shame when humans spoil and take advantage of the gift of natural beauty and landscape, fortunately I live in a place where it's still unspoilt bit such an important message in here. Wonderful. 🌹
Thank you so much dear Teddy. I could not agree more. Humans and extreme anthropocentrism has been devastating to the earth and its natural resources. I am glad that the poem resonated, my dear friend Thank you so much for your time and thoughts. 🙏🖤🐦⬛
Very nice and exquisitely written, Liked and faved) Good sonography
It seems the mountain sees, and the mountain disapproves. Fortress walls seem constantly under siege these days. Nice work.
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