Nine hundred and fifty years ago,
On this very day ,
There we were, Orchi and I,
Sitting on Hastings beach,
Minding our own business,
Just eating some pork pies.
Me drinking my whisky,
WITHOUT WATER!
Orchi drinking his sherry.
I was trying to explain to Orchi
The meaning of
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia,
While He was trying to say
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
We looked out to sea,
There approaching were these boats
Loaded with men,
All had swords and spears,
And one had a bow and arrow.
Behind us horses were galloping,
They came to us on the beach.
Harold was there,
He asked if he could have a pie,
Orchi declined,
Saying “Pigs will fly
Before I release a pie!”
He pointed into the sky
And said to Harold,
“See that flying pig!”
I had always told Orchi
That pointing was rude,
And in this case,
It was dangerous!
As Harold fell from his horse
An arrow in his eye.
And that was the day
That Orchi said to me
“Give me a scotch, without water!”
Out of the kindness of my heart
I gave Orchi a SMALL scotch.
He fell to the ground
Shouting “Alas poor Yorick
I knew him well, fill up the walls
With your English dead Romeo”
From that day Orchi and context
Have never been the same,
And water always goes in his scotch.
-
Author:
Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 8th, 2022 00:54
- Comment from author about the poem: Orchidee and I have known each other on poetry websites for many years and we often make fun of each other, after all we have lived since the dinosaurs were on the earth! This is one I wrote a few years ago, I was showing Mary some of my poems and this one raised its head so I thought I would put it on this site.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 19
Offline)
Comments5
Of course you do know that Harold was not shot in the eye actually, donchaknow. Tch! It was all believable apart from that part.
How do you know that SC, you weren't there like me and Orchi were. LOL
Andy
Oh lol, good write Gold.
Were you around too, when a local Abbey in our town was there, before nasty Henry destroyed it?The Ruins are still there. I give guided tours, saying I was there at its opening in 1121.
I was around but that is when you started singing so I was hiding in a noise free room.
Andy
Apologies - I mentioned the Ch.... word in me poem again!
You are starting to mention it too often Orchi!!!!!!!
Oops yes - wishing the year away (oh no), as if trying to hold water in a sieve!
And what's this, no singing or swooning from Orchi? Great write Andy. š
Thank you AP, no not this time, Orchi knows better than to sing near me.
Andy
Poor 'ole Orchi. š
And there are unplumbed depths to be found here -
Orchi , Goldfinch drinking sherry and scotch.
A member of CAMRA, Iād prefer beer,
That would have taken Hastings up a notch.
(CAMRA stands for Campaign For Real Ale ā I was a very early member)
Good one, Andy.
I was around when CAMRA first started in 1971, I too like good ale, my favourite is called Pigs Ear which is sold in a couple of pubs near me.
Thank you Dave.
Andy
I was around when CAMRA first started in 1971, I too like good ale, my favourite is called Pigs Ear which is sold in a couple of pubs near me.
Thank you Dave.
Andy
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.