A mauve sky shimmering with crystalline stars
Shone the heaven’s beauty against my feeble silhouette.
With I betwixt the raging sea and the waning moon afar –
The sky blushed a rosy pink from its ethereal palette.
Boundless waters stretched their limbs as if braced for a sacrifice,
Wherein thunderous waves birthing chaos splashed against the ledge.
I pray on this towering cliff – I pray for paradise.
Or to hear a siren’s serenade, before I reach the edge.
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Author:
Rocky Lagou (
Offline) - Published: September 8th, 2022 10:01
- Comment from author about the poem: A journey into my mind.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 56
- Users favorite of this poem: spilleronsheet, Garth Rakumakoe, wise.word.weilder.
Offline)
Comments8
Good write Rocky.
Erm, I tried to write a poem about a journey into my mind - a huge, cavernous blank! heehee.
Oh lordie! Don't worry Orchi, my brain is pretty "cavernous" too. I think sometimes we can feel a little hollow inside. But just know your essence and quirky personality make you one of the nicest and unique person I've ever met. Thanks so much for reading dear poet, I do hope you can "vibe" with my mood in this poem. It's pretty pensive, but I think the speaker has this sort of majestic aureole guiding them to safety.
Nature kept me in a marvel…and your words justified that beauty..what a beautiful canvas you painted with the qwerty keypad in your hand dear Rocky…well penned dear my friend…
Hello most beloved and intellectual Spiller! It is more than an honor to see you comment on my poem. I'm really glad you felt the palpable atmosphere I was trying to create here. It's a climactic moment wherein the reader is ready to say goodbye to the world, but a faint whisper in their mind makes them rethink their decision. "Or to hear a siren's serenade, before I reach the edge" is a reference to that last-minute lifesaver that changes the entire route of a person's life forevermore. I intentionally chose the word "serenade" to convey an explicit image of a siren singing in the chaotic sea below the speaker. The denotation of "serenade" is a lover singing to his beloved below their balcony, so I loved trying to sort of match that image but instead of a balcony it's a literal cliff. Anyways, I'm really enamored by your kindness, I try to write from the heart always. So thanks a bunch Spiller, have a glorious day!
Wow night scenery portrayed and painted in masterpiece quality rhyming word choice and imagery! Kudos for this awesome poem!
Plz also read and comment my newest poem too.
Hello dear poet, thanks abundantly for stopping by. I'm truly glad you could take away something from this poem. I feel that life is such a precious and delicate thing that requires careful handling. And this poem is a hint to that moment of salvation that can come unexpectedly in a person's life. I will be sure to check out your own poem.
"Boundless waters stretched their limbs as if braced for a sacrifice" - Your words are vivid pictures my friend. - Better yet, pictures strive to clearly depict what you say in words. - Also, there's so much depth of meaning about the self, praying for paradise, before reaching the edge. A picture of the inward out, painted in words. It speaks! - Well penned, gifted one!
Hi dearest poet! Thank you so so much Garth for your thoughtful remarks. Must I say, your last name is a literal euphony to say aloud "Rakumakoe," like wow idk it's just so satisfying to enunciate, lol. Anyways, thank you so much for such keen insights into my poetic world. Whenever I write I try to express myself as clearly as possible, and I want the reader to really grasp my message. In this poem, death and life and the afterlife are constantly interchanging in this poem. It's a sort of reciprocal thing. The "heaven's beauty" at the beginning is a reference to the afterlife, then I juxtaposition that against "my feeble silhouette," which hints to the fragility of life. Then we have in the first stanza still, "the sky blushed a rosy pink," which is alluding to the prime of our lives, when we're still young and full of vigor. In the second stanza, the line you pointed out about the water "stretching its limbs," is once again referring to death, "as if fit for a sacrifice. Then these waters which were once "fit for a sacrifice," are now "birthing chaos," I chose the word "birthing" specifically to conjure the image of something new coming to light, hence another mention to life. Then we have "I pray for paradise," wherein "paradise" rhymes with "sacrifice," a direct contrast in connotation. And lastly the song of the "siren's serenade" before "reaching the edge," is a sort of salvation, that comes unexpectedly, to rescue the life of this forlorn speaker.
Sorry, that was quite a lot, but I wanted to explain my rationale for this poem. May you have a blessed day Garth, it is always a gift to hear from such a talented poet as yourself.
This one is so neat. The feeling of straining to have that certainty between life and death using nature's beauty, gracefulness, and brutality is worth a mention. You justified it well, Rocky. Well penned!
Hello most beloved poet!!! It is so wonderful to hear from you again. Thanks so so much for your overgenerous words and for appreciating this poem. The way you noted the theme as a"straining to have that certainty between life and death using nature's beauty, gracefulness, and brutality" is actually so precise and apt for the message I'm trying to convey. It's a sort of "edge of glory" moment where the speaker needs to make a pivotal decision: life or death. And I wanted nature to be prominent in this one so I'm really glad you noted that too. I wanted to contrast the softness and beauty of the moon to the hectic and uncontrollable sea below. I can't wait to check out some of your own poems soon, thanks again! Have a blessed day!
Very well penned, and very well articulated, in terms of meaning and message. Thank you for taking it apart as you did in your explaining it sir! Much appreciated... Yah, Rakumakoe is not a common one, I know, lol! - Good day further to you!
Very engaging read and a beautifully expressed poem
Thanks abundantly dear poet! It is wonderful to hear from you, and to see you enjoyed it means the world to me. It's an intense depiction, but I hope it was a moment for reflection. Have a beautiful day!
Your poem gives me the feeling of being adrift between two realms, one earthbound and one ethereal. Nightfall always makes me feel this way. The combination of color and the power of nature give it an otherworldly quality that I love. Beautiful!
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