The 49 Bus

Paul Bell

I'm going to build a human rocket
Okay, stop there, let me take you back to chemistry class
Remember the blast, the six-foot hole
I know, but I was young then, now I know what I'm doing
Okay, let me remind you, your supersonic car
The passengers on the top deck of the number 49 watched you flying by
You caused mayhem
Exactly, now I've recalculated
My god, the exact words you used with your rotorless helicopter
People have stopped using the 49  now
Mrs Brown took a heart attack when she saw you with a screwdriver
You have to stop man
Can’t, I'm on the verge of greatness
Don’t use that word, verge
Your electric car, and the mile long length of cable
That poor driver, when you turned in front of him
He just stopped the bus, walked up to the psychiatric hospital, and committed himself
Well, I can hardly be blamed for that
Never understood why he gave up the teaching job
Look, just go down to the Job centre, they’ll fix you up with something
Now promise me
Okay,I’ll go down the Job centre

One week later
News has just come in of a suspected terrorist attack in London, reports of an Exocet missile flying round Big Ben have been confirmed.
Police have now confirmed the missile was in fact a human rocket.
Latest reports coming in, seem to suggest the terrorist has been killed by a Double decker bus, we also believe the driver was attacked by the passengers, suggesting a second terrorist was involved.
Police have now totally ruled out the attack on Big Ben as a terrorist attack, reports coming in suggest the human rocket was in fact an ex chemistry teacher, sketchy reports are also coming in regarding the 49 bus, which seemed to be a hundred miles off route.
Passengers tell of the horrendous journey,the bus company say the driver had removed the route sat nav, replacing it with a revolutionary sat nav he had invented that day.
As a mark of respect, the bus company say they will be changing the 49 to the new 50. Relaunched that day, all was going well for the new driver, till a large Bat shaped object landed on the windscreen.

  • Author: Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: October 8th, 2022 03:15
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 20
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  • orchidee

    Ahh, will that be the 49 bus to Mars and back?! Good write Paul. lol.

    • Paul Bell

      Crap service anyway. lol

    • Cheeky Missy

      [Having read this aloud to my close friend (poetry is, perforce, supposed to be read aloud for best compression and indulgence) she quipped "Okay..?"]
      Lovely little essay. Reminiscent of the perhaps lesser known tale titled " I Saw Goolie Fly," it's thought-provoking. Were we likewise supposed to rewatch the movie Speed again at this juncture? No. That is hardly related.
      Remember the psalmist's cry, "...oh that I had the wings of a dove! Then would I fly away and be at rest--" eh?
      Or just a bit of reckless musing?
      Thank you for sharing.

      • Paul Bell

        Poetry should be read out loud, though not whilst eating. lol

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