OAP

 

OAP.

 

It happened all of a sudden.

When I began to grow old.

I now need the toilet more often.

Even more when the weather is cold.

 

Time is a fickle bed partner.

It makes us examine the truth.

Each day I look in the mirror

I’m not like I was in my youth.

 

When I look back on those days.

Those lusty, bawdy adventures.

I stifle a smile for a short while.

Delayed till I put in mi dentures.

 

Those hips that once graced the dance floor.

The aftershave worn for the chicks

Mi joints are all creaky and sore

And I now smell of Urine and Vics

 

My boyish good looks gone awry.”.

Life’s short and time is a thief

My mirrored reflection asks “ Why?

I’m losing my good looks, my hair and my teeth.

 

A wheezing sound comes from mi chest

Whenever I run for the bus.

My teeth jump out of my mouth.

Whenever I swear or I cuss

 

The best of my days have now gone.

But reluctantly I soldier on.

Excelled in the free love generation.

Now blighted by piles and acute constipation.

 

The mop of thick hair that once graced my head.

Grows wild round my ears, eyebrows and nose instead.

I’m bald and depressed and I’m fat.

The top of mi bonce like a pink crash hat.

The tales that I tell they’ve heard em before

They don’t want to hear my old stories no more.

People walk out when I enter a room.

In a permanent state of misery and gloom.

My breath smells of stale beer and whisky and smoke

I’m stuffed full of yesterdays stories and jokes

.

 

The world has no time for old codgers like me.

They don’t want to hear how life used to be.

Before we had mobiles, computers and Wifi

I’m just an old geezer who’s waiting to die.

 

I’m sat in God's waiting room till it’s my turn.

Considering whether I’ll be buried or burned.

Little or no future left here for me.

And the sod of it is I’ve just turned fifty three.