The Lion

Here in the silent, shadowy darkness, it’s just my partner

and me.  I can't relax.  I’m new to this

When is it going to strike?

But then!

My temp soars and the sweat pours and the

LION roars.  It is, of course

The MENOPAUSE

Sweat’s racing down me like Niagara Falls.  He’s looking at me, defeated

“Water”, I say.  “Fridge cold, fast”  

He’s out of the bedroom

“Fuck.  How long is this going to last?” 

What would he know about it?  He got a Stiffy in a Jiffy 

On reflection, it was a mistake to let a pill give him an erection   

And don’t talk to me

about H.R.T.  It just doesn’t work for me

I shouldn’t be so bitchy with him

Considering the “Little Soldier” hasn’t seen action since

well, I can’t remember

but I’m sure the date’s burned into his memory   

I’m surprised we’re still Friends, never mind Lovers

Thank God, he’s back with my water

But still, I’m tossing and turning, trying to find a cool spot.  Until

The birds at dawn.  This night is over

Again, I’m looking at our bed in disbelief  

The sheet’s a ball of sweat and dried-in crease after crease.

 And I feel like a wilted cabbage leaf  

And so, I roll out of bed and again

The smell of coffee draws me to the kitchen, like a movie stooge who keeps falling

for the same gag 

It’s de-caffe now.  DE-CAFFE!!!

No caffeine for the Menopausal woman,

No good 

No sleep and no wake-up juice

Why should this LION be on the verge of hysterical tears?!

And so, the Main Show begins; and there is a very special award for the

Winner of this Performance. 

At the end of the day, she who walks away

with her Sanity Intact, WINS. 

Standing in front of my business,

Advertising Solutions greets me in big

gold lettering on a black background.  I’ve always been so bloody proud of that sign 

How many times this building has had a facelift?

And so, to work.  I’m wearing a smart business suit, leather briefcase at my side.  No  

Not the elevator

Be strong

Take the stairs

Finally, the fourth floor. I stopped breathing  

two floors ago

Bathroom

I can hear the cold tap water sizzle

as I splash it on my face and

my bloodshot eyes tell of a LION who lost it long ago

and I just realized my knickers are on back to front

I’m walking with some authority now, I must.  I have a vitally important meeting 

What’s it about??

Going through the double glass doors, I see

Phil leaning over the water cooler.  He’s a hipster, this week  

With that face and those glasses, he’s more like a six-foot four baby owl

looking for his mummy 

Phil grins a toothy grin at me. 

“A bit thirsty, Annie?  

My face meets his.  

Phil’s no fool.  He’s now at our team table and virtually sliding off his trendy red suede stool. 

Walking past the team table I’m vaguely aware

of other people around me,

but all I can see is red.  There are two coffee urns at the end of the table.  Red for normal and blue for de-caffe.  I’ll take the blue.  Yes.  Woo-hoo. 

Blue.  “Oh, sorry Dennis”, I say.      

He’s taking a big breath in and puffing out his chest and

today’s sermon will be

I swear

to you, Dennis. You’re the only blonde-haired bullfrog I’ve ever seen

Still, now I can sit down and Dennis can enlighten me 

It’s amazing!  The minute his mouth opens, I can feel my eyes close

“Don’t mind me!  “Just getting some coffee”.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

It’s Poppy. 

Poppy.  So smiley, so full of

energy 

Always popping up.  Cats like Popping Up on a mouse.

That’s it.  I need a hit and the de-caffe tastes like shit

I’m in trouble

The real coffee’s almost gone and Poppy’s on the run 

It’s a race 

Knocked Phil off his little stool and Dennis’ chest is hiding and his eyes keep widening

And Poppy?  All those teeth.  Anyone else would think she was smiling

"Annie darling, are you alright?  Only you’re drawing blood”.

I wasn’t…well, maybe a bit.  But just recently this Lion’s discovered strength about which

the wittle kitty Kat knows jack shit

My grip gets even tighter and, Poppy’s face gets even whiter

I’m warning you, my dear   

Don’t deprive me, you ’ll never survive me 

That’s it Poppy, back in your place 

Leave the coffee to me  

“Well Annie? What do you think?”

The Bull frog’s looking at me, so’s the baby owl and the Kitty Kat.  I feel

a predatorial smile from deep within

I say “Dennis, I’m going to need you to go over that information again”. 

I am, after all, the boss