A Closed Door

I am so back and forth

like a boat on the waves

as it sways.

Although I am pretty sure I know the way

but I am so afraid.

Why am I so afraid to lose you.

There may have been happy moments

but they have been sandwiched in between lies and distance.

I know the connection between you and me is the same as any other you have.

Just because you have not been authentic does not mean I haven't been.

I may be a closed door but I have a lot behind it. 

Nothing secretive, only real.

Real pain and sadness I don't share with most.

Do you have a door?

You never stick around long enough for either of us to open ours.

Perhaps this is a closed door never meant to open.