Death By a Thousand……

Doggerel Dave


I go down my local café for a double shot flat white

And a read of the local rag.

Small place; But draped across the front entrance,

A very large hound.

He’s not about to move and I hesitate:

Balance could be better, and he is a very large mound.

Owner at counter turns and sees me -

Says “He won’t bite, mate.”

I look at him, look back at the dog…..

What to say when the bloody great Labrador

Is more likely to lick me to death…..?

  • Author: Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: November 25th, 2022 05:33
  • Comment from author about the poem: Holiday from a rhymer for one moment..... (I did get my double shot flat white eventually, but someone had nicked the paper - had to buy my own.)
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 44


  • sorenbarrett

    Dave I have been there. I'm not sure whether it is worse to be bitten or licked. Enjoyed this story and how it was presented in this poem

    • Doggerel Dave

      Thanks for the encouragement, Soren. I was out of inspiration, so the walk to my coffie shop paid dividends.

    • SureshG

      Entertaining post indeed. Thanks

      • Doggerel Dave

        Thanks muchly Suresh - life has it's moments when I get up the energy to venture out.

      • Goldfinch60

        MOst placid of dogs.

        In my working days I knocked on a door one time and a loud bark came from inside, the owner opened the door and there in front of me was a black Alsatian with one light brown paw. He was a Labrador Alsatian cross.
        He had the looks of the Alsatian and the temperament of the labrador.


        • Doggerel Dave

          Thanks Andy - How could you be sure? I cannot keep up with all the cross breeds today.
          And why? It's not really new anyway. Our family dog when I was a kid was a Heinz and lived to a ripe old age of fifteen.

        • PoetVids - I am WriteBeLight only in Video Version :)

          Ha Ha! Love this! I have to say I am not a fan of dogs jumping up on people, either! 🙂

        • Neville

          Sounds good to me & sure got a feelgood factor to it DD 🙂

          • Doggerel Dave

            Hopefully amusing, Nev. But please never accuse me of a feelgood factor....Don't think that's me..🙂.

          • Bella Shepard

            Such a delightful story, and one that ended I presume very well. You lived to tell the tale. A number of years ago, on my morning walks, I would always encounter a nasty little beast ( why are the small dogs always the worst?) who would run after me and one morning bit my pants leg. The owner came running out yelling "He won't bite" to which I had to reply that he already did. I'm glad your encounter was of the safe kind. Just watch out for the little ones.

            • Doggerel Dave

              Thanks Bella - Where I live actual encounters with dogs are very rare: Properties highly fenced and on the street dogs are leashed. In some areas doggy parks are available... This was a rare instance of a dog trusted by his owner with a degree of freedom......

            • MendedFences27

              DD, I get my double dose at the Dunkin' Donuts which does not have a doggy doormat. Sorry you became the victim of a news-napping, but I guess that's better than a dangerous dog attack. Your poem was a very descriptive depiction of a double dose dilemma.
              Ok enough of that.
              I enjoyed reading your poem this morning along with my morning joe. Nice start to my day, Thanks - Phil A.

              • Doggerel Dave

                Glad you got something out of it, Phil. I'm trying to lighten up.... not sure how long it will last....
                Thanks for your visit.

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