Ever Been Mine

Ever Been Mine

Saturday, November 26, 2022

3:20 PM

This journey is something special as I grow

Every time I think I'm fully a woman I realize I don’t really know

I think I fool myself into believing that’s true

I realize I have so much more growing to do

To heal past traumas and grow my soul

To ascend my true path and make myself whole

I'm trusting the universe above all the Lord

Releasing all the hurt and anger I somehow deeply stored

For years numbing all the unresolved pain

Like a cloud that never releases the rain

Its fear that keeps us all frozen in place

Never letting anyone see my true hidden face

Somehow found someone to share my secrets

Trusting fully, he gets it and will always keep it

We are not meant to hold it all inside

It finds its way out someway even if I can't fully cry

Feeling like I always fail no matter how hard I try

But at least for the first time in forever I no longer wish to die

I believe I have found my true other half even if he doesn't know

I know this because he's helped me heal from up high to down low

I am trying to do for him the same in return

Seems like the more I try the more I crash and burn

Impossible to find the right things to say

Trusting God will help me light the way

Because all I wish is to hold him close

I can't trick myself, he's the only one my soul wants the most

Somehow, I seem to keep pushing him away

Visualizing us holding each other somehow makes me feel safe and okay

I've started to accept maybe we are not meant to be more than friends

Summer was the most magical time watching it begin again

I just keep messing up making him mad

That hurts me to the core so damn bad

I long for any kind of response to know his current feeling or thought

It's so depressing to just wonder now, searching for the lesson taught

All I want more than anything down deep or above

Is to share all this pent up locked away love

Maybe one day we can just have fun again and chill

And I can feel if it's there for him still

I keep thinking when he said "You can't rush perfection"

Trying to slow myself down and just take it by the section

So, I don’t overwhelm myself with wondering how he currently may feel

Fighting with myself but my intuition says it is all real

So, I guess I'll just keep hanging in there in the meantime

Even if it was just temporary, he's the best thing that’s ever been mine.