Obnoxious Barfly

See these picturez on my phone

i know you really like them

All the things i own 

only way i know to trap you

 

Don'tcha like my house 

how about my shiny car

My big Ole telescope

I'll show you all the stars

 

You know i am so sweet 

thats what the ladies say

I really am a catch 

dont let me get away

 

Oh now you want some charm

i can do that too

My pick up lines are so good 

i use them all the time

 

Arent ya glad i came along 

to rescue you from doom

Spend your life alone 

instead i came along

 

To brighten up your life 

now let us see that smile

You really should try harder 

to make a man feel smarter 

 

Its not everyday you find 

a man as great as me

Im tellin you the truth 

my momma has the proof

 

Yes your gonna meet my mom

tomorrow's good for me

Whats a matter now 

theres no need to freak 

 

Are you really tense inside 

i think i know a cure

Oh you dont want sex with me

really are you sure

 

Got the latest moves

even better than my lines

stuff i learned from porn

 i watch it all the time

 

Whats a matter now 

why you look that way

Cant you take a joke

you know i like to play

 

If i could just get your name

and ask you for a date

Dont judge me for my humor

hurry dont be late

 

Happy hour is starting

the girls are coming in

Better catch me quick

before they hook me in