Ah... tis nothing greater than...

malfunctioning heater
on that brisk winter day
recorded here as proof positive
regarding following reasonable rhyme.

While scrolling thru

poems crafted yesteryear,
I chanced to jog my memory where

there

occurred power outage necessitated

more than divine intervention
yielded courtesy effort

vis a vis wing and prayer

while yours truly kept burrowed

under blankets within

Highland Manor lair

squirting wd-40 into

ears, mouth, and nostrils

failed to activate, lubricate, and remediate

sluggish primary cerebral cog and gear

subjected to bitter cold apartment air.

 

Thee particular date being
December twenty eighth,
two thousand nineteen,
(three years ago from today), I saith

the then Jack of all trades
maintenance technician
Kevin Blank said he would notify
HVAC expert in good faith,

yet to compliment clangorous din...
I called upon the ghost of Marley's wraith.

 

Thus despite compressor issuing
cacophonous, deafening,
ear splitting noise
clattering din louder
than convention of reindeer -
doubled as all boys

(choir) followed by cavalcade
of Santa Claus, who employed,
the missus of course with equipoise,
and countless elves pressed
for service mending
broken brand new toys.

 

Why... yes twas during
most recent brutal bitter cold spell

 

methought, yours truly got sent,
where absolute zero temperature
more frigid than when hell
froze over

of course, I felt like human popsicle

management didn't give a lick,
no matter yours truly gave rebel yell

Billy me you, I immediately
yearned (some months back) for April

May, June... some tell

 

tale sign to alleviate pell mell

bone crushing polar vortex
preserved frozen awful
botox smile impossible mission to quell,
nor avoid frostbite
to deep freeze (frieze) every cell;

millenniums later archeologists

discovered embalmed human

once preserved in ice despite
climate changed dystopian future

found me thawed out body

reason to sing and kvell.

Forsooth mindlessly jabbering away

jaw frenziedly attempting to convey

how this schlemiel

procrastinated and did delay,

NOT taking page from

playbook of Dick Proenneke

without possessing an iota of survival skills
to live alone in the wilderness
such cockamimi half cocked notion

would fly in the face

of sense and sensibility

and I a creature of comfort

 

best be war re: not game

to warm cockles and muscles

loosely translated restrained foray

toward forbidding verboten terrain
(exalting in bosom of paramour)
think fifty shades of gray

kindling like ice cold tinder thawing

frigid celibate stasis,

an unnatural rut versus making whoopie

to generate body heat hooray,

but clothes minded chap

even entertaining bacchanalian melee

alien fantasy unrecognizable

yielded Abort, Retry, Fail?

– nay

synonymous to when yours truly

adopted Presbyterian sacred ministerial

he pledged allegiance linkedin

 

and jumpstarting career

parallel to the late Mister Rogers,

his neighborhood of make-believe

immune to weather related events,

thus forever okay,

nevertheless expressed gratitude

confessed, I unconsciously did
(as iterated earlier) pray

while suspended animation did stay

slowing or stopping
of biological function

physiological capabilities
unpitted and preserved - yea.

 

Hence today upon being
and getting woke,
(where central heater
set at a comfortable
sixty five degrees fahrenheit)

feeling like I slept forever
and a day - no joke

most certainly well rested
constitution; dreams did evoke

intensely scrutinizing

Scottish matted cognomen,

chilled wren, and whim hen folk,

who appeared out of this

dreamy Maxfield Parrish world

hybridized, mutated,

and segued into rorschach Roanoke

Island mystery

disappearance smooth

as glass skin cloak
immune against ultraviolet rays
ordinarily causing skin cancer,

their attenuated limbs

(ala El Greco) strong as oak

versatile to prod

analogous to pig in a poke,

 

whereby superior petsmart
doggone noggin could invoke
telepathic communication
interestingly enough issuing smoke

signals, whenever danger present

and capable to disappear

as if doing breast stroke,

thus concludes trademark

discombobulated poetic anecdote

of one garden variety generic bloke.