rip me apart

nae_loveswords

As I watch the crows circle over the house 

I stare as I stand quiet as a mouse 

I start to feel my eyes water 

Now I'm their next meal on the platter 

Another mistake, moving again 

New people, more friends 

The pain won't stop there is no end 

I want to smile but all I feel is tears falling 

I won't rush, no more stalling 

I must move on, I need rest 

So, I lay down and put my hands on my chest.  

I feel my heart beat slower 

My eye lids get lower 

I fall into a deep sleep as the crows 

Circle, now line in rows 

Above my head the call  

Above my head they all fall 

One by one they pierce my stone-cold, worn-out skin 

I don’t feel them, their beaks in within 

I feel as they tear through my epidermis 

I try to open my eye, but I miss 

Everything. 

I lay there as they rip apart every piece of my body as if I never existed 

Do I wish I could have resisted? 

Maybe, but at least now the once reoccurring pain   

Is no longer in my veins. 

I can't cry anymore 

I'm just a pile of bones on the floor 

Emotionless, fearless 

At least now I hurt less. 

  • Author: nae_loveswords (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 19th, 2023 15:30
  • Comment from author about the poem: It\\\'s like a leaf in the loud wind, very noticeable when not noticed. The type of pain that just burns very small but aches for a while. It doesn\\\'t hurt very much but it hurts for a long time. Like water on the not so flat of a rock. Like my skin has a wound that hasn’t been discovered yet, but my body knows it’s in pain. I know my actions caused greater pain to myself than anything else but doesn\\\'t everybody else’s? \r\n\r\nI write to bring all of it out, but sometimes it brings it all back in. it\\\'s like writing is taking everything from my deep wounded mind onto a blank sheet of paper and making my eyes show my heart what hurts and why. It\\\'s like pressing a letter on the keyboard and it\\\'s giving a different letter. Trying and failing after you’ve tried so hard is what scares me but for some reason, I must let go of all these fears for me to be able to live. I\\\'m scared to die, I\\\'m scared of not knowing, I\\\'m scared to leave. I\\\'ve attached myself to all these people just to leave them. \r\n\r\nI want to cry, scream, throw a fit but I can\\\'t. Why? Because it won\\\'t make anything better. It won\\\'t stop anything. It\\\'ll only make my new transition worse. I thought about this poem and how I want people to perceive how I felt. I want them to know my pain then feel it. I’ll never wish this feeling of abandonment on anyone. Every day I wish to just have a stable home. I hear all these people talking about how their parents got them out of cps, or how their family members did it. \r\n\r\nBut mines wont. The only people that I know will take me, hurt me the worse. So, I refuse to sacrifice my heart and mental state just to be in a family. This poem shows how my heart truly feels. Broken but patched up by soiled down bandages. I hope now that you’ve read my poem you’ll understand.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 16
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Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    I related, so I wanted to word
    my understanding
    in some kind of poetic reply
    forgive me
    thanks for sharing, stay strong!
    (family as curse
    friendship as burden
    fear as our daily meal
    'were we made for this'
    'just, this'
    'to what end'
    'by what measure
    are we deemed to have
    capacity, enough
    to endure and survive, life'
    'victory in our witnessed Aurora's
    yet, a sunrise
    lasts for merely blink moments'
    'while
    our tossing turning, nightmares
    go-on for hours, days, lifetime's'
    'what fck'd up scales, does fate
    utilise, to think all this adds-up'
    so fck our idiotic circumstances
    to hell with loyalty, rewarded
    in bruises, too deep to appear
    on skin
    fck it all
    let's just do it for ourselves
    they hate us anyway
    so fck it, laugh at our own
    jokes
    we'll be, their crazy
    if we get to be left alone
    yeah, who needs friends
    or family
    we're all walking on a grave pit
    of destiny, literally
    destined to scar the earth
    as regurgitated lava..
    yeah, fck it
    just do it our way
    let those wannabe do-gooder's
    pick up our bills
    and so what, we bathe
    in a shower of tears, daily
    a little salty, admittedly
    but it scrubs us clean
    of our suffering's stains
    fck it!)



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