Darkness

Darkness

It’s in the darkness that I see my deepest thoughts,

The desires setting fire

Creating a path that leads the way

Fear

Breathing getting heavy

Asphyxiating

Taking a step forward

No

Take two steps back!

No

Move forward!

Three steps back

Breathe

Calm yourself

No

Love yourself

No

I said love yourself

Love that little girl

With the innocent eyes

No

Broken

There is nothing

No

No hope

Breathe

I said breathe

My body lets me down

Broken

I let me down

Sunshine

No

Go away

There is no place for you here

The sun doesn’t belong here

Breathe

No

Suffocate

Yes, I said suffocate yourself

Let the darkness in

Accept it

Let it in

No

I said no

I do not trust the light

The light does not belong

The light does not belong here

Breathe God damn it!

No

I said no

Please

Let the light in

Let it in

Feel it

Touch it

No do not touch

It burns

I do not want to burn

Let it

No

I am a force

I am superwoman

Let it in

How?

I do not know how

Hesitant

Breathe

No

Desire

Pain

Lust

Craving

Craving something

Someone 

It lingers

In my mind it stays

For a little while

But then gravity

Like a demon

Sh…

Do not use that word

Like a demon

Pulls me down

Like gravity

No

You cannot defy gravity

My thoughts…

My darkest thoughts

I embrace

I cannot let them go

Breathe

No

Broken

No

No

No

Empty

Like an empty space

A void

A black hole

A tiny spec

Too far to reach

I cannot reach

Please

It is too far

Too far

My legs won’t move

Move!

No

Stay

Stay with me

The darkness

My darkest thoughts

Let them

Let them

I am yours

Breathe

No

There is no space

No space in my lungs

Poisoned

Addicted

Addicted to the darkness

My thoughts

I embrace

I accept

And so, in the darkness

On my fiery path

My path

One direction

Only one

Set on fire

It burns

It consumes

It claims

No

It claims my soul

It is black

Just like the darkness

It lingers

Smells so sweet

Because the darkness is the only thing

Yes

Yes

The only thing that belongs to me

It will stay

Never abandon

No

Never

It stays

And lingers

Sweetly

Oh, how sweet

Lingers

Like a lover’s touch

On my skin

And it devours

Yes

It devours

All of me.