Jane Frye

I saw it on the Dr. Phil Show!

 A day with you is painful.
I avoid you like spiders and oatmeal.
I find you so disdainful.

Your voice is grating.
"A penny for your thoughts", you screech." 
Your demise is what I'm contemplating. 

I reply, "Can I borrow your bat?"
You look alarmed.
"Why would you want that?"

Never mind I say.
I could hear the audience snicker.
Could you just go away?

But you never do.
You just sit there breathing,
like you don't have a clue.

I clench my teeth when you start to squawk,
and I lose it and scream, "Close your mouth when you talk!"

 Dr. Phil intervenes,
while I glare at you,
he says some things.

But all I hear is the part where he says,
"Some marriages are beyond repair.
 I can help you handle the sadness and despair."
I can't wipe the smile from my face,
as you sob in front of everyone in this place. 

And that's when it occurs to me, and I blurt out loud, "Why can't they send you to another planet." 
Dr. Phil begins to lecture, "Now Janet,"
But I take off my mic, climb down from my chair,
And I'm out of there. 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Author: Jane Frye (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 24th, 2023 00:24
  • Comment from author about the poem: During the height of the pandemic, bored and stuck at home, I turned on TV and watched The Dr. Phil Show. I'm not a fan of such shows, and don't usually waste my time watching them, but I don't think I will ever forget what happened on this episode.
  • Category: Unclassified
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  • User favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek.

Comments3

  • Doggerel Dave

    Then if you watch them all, your mind would really fill up then....Become very maggoty. It is a source of wonder at the mentality of those people who wish to participate in such shows.
    A write which painted the picture.....

    • Jane Frye

      Oh my mind is probably already maggoty. But, in Dr. Phil's defense, he does follow through with offering resources for his guests; which may be why people agree to air their dirty laundry on national TV. Who knows!

    • orchidee

      We had dreadful Jeremy Kyle Show in UK until it got banned - consigned to a cess pit.

      • Jane Frye

        Hi Orchidee, At least in the UK they had the good sense to ban the show. 😀

        • orchidee

          It\'s ghastly if we happen to tune in to it accidentally. Even worse if we tunen in on purpose - we'll suffer for doing so! lol.
          Oh lol. we have a Dr Phil here in the Uk on TV, but not in his own show. Bit preachy and bossy I found.

        • L. B. Mek

          (Edgar A Poe, was visited by a craven
          you clicked upon, a Dr Phil
          centuries, mediums and topics
          apart
          yet connected, seamless
          by that poetic zeal, that creative need
          to depict, to share, to word
          sincere and so eloquent...)
          thank you dear poet
          such a fun read
          you showcase lovely dialogue, and characterisation skills
          have you tried scribbling a short story or two?



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