I saw it on the Dr. Phil Show!

Jane Frye

 A day with you is painful.
I avoid you like spiders and oatmeal.
I find you so disdainful.

Your voice is grating.
"A penny for your thoughts", you screech." 
Your demise is what I'm contemplating. 

I reply, "Can I borrow your bat?"
You look alarmed.
"Why would you want that?"

Never mind I say.
I could hear the audience snicker.
Could you just go away?

But you never do.
You just sit there breathing,
like you don't have a clue.

I clench my teeth when you start to squawk,
and I lose it and scream, "Close your mouth when you talk!"

 Dr. Phil intervenes,
while I glare at you,
he says some things.

But all I hear is the part where he says,
"Some marriages are beyond repair.
 I can help you handle the sadness and despair."
I can't wipe the smile from my face,
as you sob in front of everyone in this place. 

And that's when it occurs to me, and I blurt out loud, "Why can't they send you to another planet." 
Dr. Phil begins to lecture, "Now Janet,"
But I take off my mic, climb down from my chair,
And I'm out of there. 






  • Author: Jane Frye (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 24th, 2023 00:24
  • Comment from author about the poem: During the height of the pandemic, bored and stuck at home, I turned on TV and watched The Dr. Phil Show. I'm not a fan of such shows, and don't usually waste my time watching them, but I don't think I will ever forget what happened on this episode.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 56
  • User favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek.


  • Doggerel Dave

    Then if you watch them all, your mind would really fill up then....Become very maggoty. It is a source of wonder at the mentality of those people who wish to participate in such shows.
    A write which painted the picture.....

    • Jane Frye

      Oh my mind is probably already maggoty. But, in Dr. Phil's defense, he does follow through with offering resources for his guests; which may be why people agree to air their dirty laundry on national TV. Who knows!

    • orchidee

      We had dreadful Jeremy Kyle Show in UK until it got banned - consigned to a cess pit.

      • Jane Frye

        Hi Orchidee, At least in the UK they had the good sense to ban the show. 😀

        • orchidee

          It\'s ghastly if we happen to tune in to it accidentally. Even worse if we tunen in on purpose - we'll suffer for doing so! lol.
          Oh lol. we have a Dr Phil here in the Uk on TV, but not in his own show. Bit preachy and bossy I found.

        • L. B. Mek

          (Edgar A Poe, was visited by a craven
          you clicked upon, a Dr Phil
          centuries, mediums and topics
          yet connected, seamless
          by that poetic zeal, that creative need
          to depict, to share, to word
          sincere and so eloquent...)
          thank you dear poet
          such a fun read
          you showcase lovely dialogue, and characterisation skills
          have you tried scribbling a short story or two?

          • Jane Frye

            L.B. Mek, Thank you for your inspiring comment. I\'m a fan of your page here on My Poetic Side, so your comments mean a lot to me. Please, never be afraid of being constructively critical or challenging. Your opinions would be appreciated and welcomed.

          • jarcher54

            One must watch at least one to understand why one avoids them. Like social media, they give the addicted viewer a distorted sense of our everyday lives... I hope. I always read the poem BEFORE the author's comment. So this was way funny at first then horrifying, then a relief. I'd like you to review all the shows I don't watch. Naked and Afraid, The Bachelor, Fox News...

            • Jane Frye

              Lol! Fox News... how funny, but you're right, does fit in the same category.

            • PoetVids - I am WriteBeLight only in Video Version :)

              I have watched that show and can't believe what some people will do for attention. Good job on the write Jane!

            • Jane Frye

              Thank you WriteBeLight. I certainly wouldn't want the nadir of my life to be recorded and put on national TV, but when that lady yelled out, "Shut your mouth when you talk." I could relate. 🙂

            • jarcher54

              Now Janet.... love that line!

              • Jane Frye

                Thank you, Jarcher

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