A day with you is painful.
I avoid you like spiders and oatmeal.
I find you so disdainful.
Your voice is grating.
"A penny for your thoughts", you screech."
Your demise is what I'm contemplating.
I reply, "Can I borrow your bat?"
You look alarmed.
"Why would you want that?"
Never mind I say.
I could hear the audience snicker.
Could you just go away?
But you never do.
You just sit there breathing,
like you don't have a clue.
I clench my teeth when you start to squawk,
and I lose it and scream, "Close your mouth when you talk!"
Dr. Phil intervenes,
while I glare at you,
he says some things.
But all I hear is the part where he says,
"Some marriages are beyond repair.
I can help you handle the sadness and despair."
I can't wipe the smile from my face,
as you sob in front of everyone in this place.
And that's when it occurs to me, and I blurt out loud, "Why can't they send you to another planet."
Dr. Phil begins to lecture, "Now Janet,"
But I take off my mic, climb down from my chair,
And I'm out of there.
-
Author:
Jane Frye (
Offline) - Published: January 24th, 2023 00:24
- Comment from author about the poem: During the height of the pandemic, bored and stuck at home, I turned on TV and watched The Dr. Phil Show. I'm not a fan of such shows, and don't usually waste my time watching them, but I don't think I will ever forget what happened on this episode.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 61
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
Offline)
Comments8
Then if you watch them all, your mind would really fill up then....Become very maggoty. It is a source of wonder at the mentality of those people who wish to participate in such shows.
A write which painted the picture.....
Oh my mind is probably already maggoty. But, in Dr. Phil's defense, he does follow through with offering resources for his guests; which may be why people agree to air their dirty laundry on national TV. Who knows!
We had dreadful Jeremy Kyle Show in UK until it got banned - consigned to a cess pit.
Hi Orchidee, At least in the UK they had the good sense to ban the show. 😀
It\'s ghastly if we happen to tune in to it accidentally. Even worse if we tunen in on purpose - we'll suffer for doing so! lol.
Oh lol. we have a Dr Phil here in the Uk on TV, but not in his own show. Bit preachy and bossy I found.
(Edgar A Poe, was visited by a craven
you clicked upon, a Dr Phil
centuries, mediums and topics
apart
yet connected, seamless
by that poetic zeal, that creative need
to depict, to share, to word
sincere and so eloquent...)
thank you dear poet
such a fun read
you showcase lovely dialogue, and characterisation skills
have you tried scribbling a short story or two?
L.B. Mek, Thank you for your inspiring comment. I\'m a fan of your page here on My Poetic Side, so your comments mean a lot to me. Please, never be afraid of being constructively critical or challenging. Your opinions would be appreciated and welcomed.
One must watch at least one to understand why one avoids them. Like social media, they give the addicted viewer a distorted sense of our everyday lives... I hope. I always read the poem BEFORE the author's comment. So this was way funny at first then horrifying, then a relief. I'd like you to review all the shows I don't watch. Naked and Afraid, The Bachelor, Fox News...
Lol! Fox News... how funny, but you're right, does fit in the same category.
I have watched that show and can't believe what some people will do for attention. Good job on the write Jane!
Thank you WriteBeLight. I certainly wouldn't want the nadir of my life to be recorded and put on national TV, but when that lady yelled out, "Shut your mouth when you talk." I could relate. 🙂
Now Janet.... love that line!
Thank you, Jarcher
Hi! Jane. Thank you for sharing your poem. Good job! And Happy birthday!
Thank you Mr. Lee. I have not been on this site for some time, but I hope you are still writing your beautiful poetry. You have the ability to paint wonderful scenes with your words.
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