Hands of Cards

I have been dealt a hand of cards

These cards I know not with what to do

I stare at each pristine surface

Expecting to find an answer

To find a reason or a meaning

I stare until the edges of my vision black

I stare until I don’t know what, who, or how I am

I stare wishing for something

Something that will only come from me

Only I know this answer

Only I understand

Only I can dig deep enough to know

But

Somewhere inside I know the answer

But I hide

The truth is hidden

I have hidden it

So thoroughly well

Even I cannot reveal the meaning

Even I, the only one who can obtain this meaning, cannot grasp it

I cannot until

I find something

Until I realize and have been given

Realization

This truth this hidden ore

Will stay within my core

Until I learn to feel

To see

To accept 

To be willing to put in effort

I shall not see

Until I am willing to be

Open