I'm tired of being alone in my head,
With no one to understand or share my dread.
Everyday I say "I'm okay,"
But really, it's just me keeping you away.
For deep in my heart, I'm wishing I was dead.
Saying it out loud, though, would just break your head.
And so instead I'm forced to just pretend,
Putting on a facade to never hurt you again.
I feel so isolated and so completely unseen,
That I find solace in wanting to drown myself in this endless sea.
A seeping inky blackness flows and invades my soul,
Feeling as though my sanity will eventually take its toll.
I'm full of crippling pain, self loathing and such despair,
No matter how many times I fake my "it's okay," smile and my laughter.
But when you look at me, with your unknowing eyes,
It reminds me how I've hidden these destructive cries.
Everyday, the world is one giant lie.
And my happiness is only an illusory disguise.
My safety blanket, like an intricate spiderweb,
My wishes of death becomes the main idea in my head.
-
Author:
jessica rose (
Offline) - Published: February 16th, 2023 21:42
- Category: Sad
- Views: 33
- Users favorite of this poem: Brent
Offline)
Comments4
Ministering spirit's, are they not. O death where is your sting?
Very sad but elegant poem
I would like to see you and other young people on here writing happier poems, and also religious works
I don't know what you like to read but I would advise you to stay away from most modern poets, famous 20th century , and also of this century
I would also advise you to get a part-time job, if only a few hours a week, and start attending church or if there aren't any nearby that you like and feel comfortable in, start your own group
finally I would recommend that you learn to sing and maybe learn to play the guitar
let me know if I can be of further help, if you need someone to talk to
Charles69 [email protected]
662-701-6897
Mississippi, USA
With all due respect to charles69 above, his churchy religious way is perhaps not the only way. Your economic circumstances may be also have some bearing on your situation,.
At age 15 you are in the midst of adolescence - quite possibly the worst, most uncomfortable time in most people's lives. You are not autonomous, not independent. Provided you look outwards at the world, you and your group of similar age will mature.
There is a life out there, And I hope you, when you have the strength, will be part of a move to change it for the better.
But above all do not get drawn into any one view of life , keep your options open and explore many ideas and philosophies.
dear poet
'it's ok, to not
be ok'
simply, find your way
to that next dawn, it's enough
for now
when you find a reason
your anchor, to life
then begin your tepid steps
try and find your own way
ignore people's toxic opinions
simply, be yourself
let everything else, fall in to place
or not
free yourself
of societal expectation, keep it simple
when hungry, eat
find shelter, or company, or help
as you see fit
but do continue to write, to share
for from within your pain
may be planted seeds of help
for others to find hope, in
and in that, you affirm your own
worth!)
stay strong! thanks for sharing
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