Washing Her Hair

Washing my hair at the kitchen sink

The hot water making my skin bubble gum pink

I swish and swirl shampoo through my hair

I rub and scrub with my fingertips

Pressing my knees into the dining room chair

I massage and swipe suds through my hair

As the scent of apples freshen the air

When dry my hair is past my shoulders, shiny bouncy dark without flare

Causing my skin to look even more fair

The clothes I wear make me look slinky

Everyone says I should model

That I have the perfect complexion straight from a bottle

Even without shoes I have the height

Although when young I wished with all my might

That I’d just be like any ordinary tyke

My parents wouldn’t have it

They signed me up for gymnastics tap and jazz

Ballet rhumba flamenco and more

They insisted I could have pizzazz if I wanted

As if what I wanted was more of a chore

I had elocution lessons

Learned to walk with a book on my head

To walk softly, to speak gently

To never disagree

To never ever ever think of me

“You’ve had so many opportunities. You must see dear.

It’s absolutely necessary that you not be here.”

So now when I look in the mirror and stare back at me

I see a creation that had to be

Why I’m not sure

Perhaps it was necessary to have something to adore

The who that I was is no more

If I wanted could I get back to me?

Or is it easier just to let things be?

I find distraction is the heart of the matter

If I don’t think too hard

I can ignore all the chatter

What does it matter who I really am?

Doesn’t everyone say: You’re just such a gem

In these breathy sincere voices

That make it so easy to be deprived of my choices

So I walk and I strut

Make animal noises

I crawl on the floor

I shake my mane, I swish my tail

All to walk a trail someone else has blazed for me

But what does it matter?

I’ll just let it be

If I wait long enough

Cross my fingers and close my eyes

I can forget each day another piece of me dies

And soon it won’t matter I’m someone I don’t recognize

As long as I keep my eyes on the prize