Relapse

These emotions are back

But did they ever truly leave?

Am I safe?

Is it okay this time?

Or

Am I going to get ripped apart again

I am

Unsure

Scared

But not really

I am stronger

Smarter

Wiser

Than I was before

But 

Love is such a fickle

Thing

Its sense

Makes none

Time has no hold

All that matters

Is the next 

Hit 

The next

Moment

Of togetherness

I feel myself slipping

Back into that golden haze

For you

But do you actually want me to?

Or are we a circus act?

One of us the net

The other is the high walker

I don’t want to fall

Don’t want to be hurt

But

Nothing compares to how

Right it feels to be

Near

With

By you

I feel like an addict

You are my drug

A scary but fulfilling drug

Sometimes

I feel like I know you

Love you 

Want you

But others

You feel distant

Gone

Not near or with me

You’re leaving me

In the wind

Leaving me to the stars

But then

You return

I know not what to do

Or what we are

I want an answer

A straightforward path

But I know you cannot give me that

However,

I am taking the chance

To fall again

Being careful this time

Letting you lay the pieces

Because after all

You have always been able 

To call me, mine