Notice of absence from Doggerel Dave
Not absent - still here!
Keep Calm and Carry On Poeming. 😂
Not absent - still here!
Keep Calm and Carry On Poeming. 😂
It was just too easy, that internet shop -
Bought a kimono a week last Thursday.
I wore one once, (don’t speculate, now stop) -
Perhaps I’ll disclose along the way…..
I will feel strong and free, no longer flop
In the heat and humidity. I fray
Until I make my choice from two and drop
Black (funerial), take light red, a colour play...
Arrival - opened – the brightness of the red
Swamped the eye, into every corner bled.
But worn I don’t notice; I have some peace -
Just a cool dude on my lounge – comfort, release.
Then last night a dream, recurring it seemed:
Fire alarm second floor - evacuate –
Short sighted Fire Warden sees me – creamed –
I’m wheeled to the mortuary - covered in toxic fire-retardant phosphate ……..
-
Author:
Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: February 24th, 2023 01:11
- Comment from author about the poem: Delinquent pace and rhyming. More notes below.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 38
Offline)
Comments6
So there you have it: Madam Butterfly was not involved in the making of this story.
Third line disclosure: discovered bottom of old suitcase I hadn’t opened in years, the kimono a present from my mother thirty years ago after her Japan trip. No hanky-panky with Madam Butterfly.
I thank you for your call: but understand right from the beginning, Madam Butterfly had absolutely nothing to do with this piece (how many times do I have to tell ya….??)
It was a 'Fine Day' when your mother gave you that kimono Dave.
https://youtu.be/AR0SlCTj1Bo
Andy
I tried it on at the time , but my younger self could not seem to incorporate it into my 'wardrobe' 🙂 at that time....
Great music powerful but terrible story. Thanks Andy.
for phosphate mate wot were ya thinking abate .. woaha .. don't even go there .. 👘that blue thing between there .. & that is meant to be a kimono 🙂
But I did, and came back from the brink.
Rhyming can be enlightening but also a pain.
Enlightening when the only available word forces a rethink of the whole line and a new direction, etc.
A pain when (as in this case) the most obvious rhymer was too obvious, and although has other slightly less apparent connotations, when tenuously connected to ‘creamed’ (there meaning beaten, finished off) …. was just not where I wanted to go. Google search loosely referred to phosphate as fire retardant…
Dave this one led me in several directions. I guess in all the smoke I couldn't find the doors. As the last door opened and the smoke cleared it left an image branded in my brain. Amusing Dave.
Not sure it was amusing with all that smoke and confusion, Soren. Meant to be an over extended joke (though the facts are basically true) I meant no harm, nor had I any intention to injure or offend anyone. Thanks for the read.
Trying to reduce the smoke (without the help of the fire warden) Thankful for the delete button as there's quite possibly further corrections to be made.....Thanks again for the honest feedback, Soren.
I'm not sure if it was supposed to but the ending made me laugh out loud.... thanks for that!
Lorna, you and I have hearts beating in complete synchronicity. Intended as extended joke from a true situation. Mixed results. Gratified beyond all measure.
It seems
that red kimono in
your recurring dreams
looked like flames, 🔥
that's why you were
covered in toxic fire 🔥 🔥
retardant and died!! Yes?¿
My guess..
Best regards ✌️ Thad
...is correct, Sir. Many thanks for a spot on interpretation.
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