It Feels Like Yesterday

It has only been one year since he died.

My other half

better half.

He was so much more outgoing than me.

Always up for an adventure.

Was. Used to.

Past tense now, all of it.

All our memories

all of him.

I still have the photos and mementos.

But his smell has long since faded away

From the hoodie I used to borrow and never gave back.

From the blanket we used to huddle under for movies

From the floor we used to lay on playing board games.

He is a phantom in my life now.

I still find myself turning to him

for advice, laugh, funny expression.

But I have to get used to the fact

that he is no longer around to lift my spirts.

Now. Present.

I have to lift my own spirts

give myself advice, a laugh, a funny face.

I was told that the pain will go away

with time. And it has.

But how do I purge this numb feeling

that has overtaken my body?