That Autumn Day

I remember that autumn day. 

I saw his dark hair and  brown eyes

I wandered toward him

Speaking to the class I said my favorite show

The one I’ve adored for years

he spoke to me that day about how he loved it too

My eyes wandered  I tuned in and next to me seeing him

his black hair

The color stabbed like ink on paper

his eyes gazing at me

Little did I know what that small interaction would omit

We spoke many times after I sat with him

We talked and talked as he got to know me

I got to know him more and more

Hearing about his interests made me so intrigued 

Slowly falling for him I did not just once but twice

The slide of rejection knowing you wouldn’t like boys

I would get so happy seeing him

My heart would race 

Color would rush to my face

I tried to repress these feelings till they disappeared

“He won’t like you”, I told myself

“Given the past are you ready to move onward?”

It only worked for so long

The feelings were believed to be gone 

Were they gone?

Were they hidden away?

I like someone else

“That person I like not him”

Then that day appeared showing me it

The day he "supported me" as high school drama reigned on

The comfort you gave me made me realize.

I like him again or did I like him the whole time?

That night I knew I had fallen for him once again

This time more than before 

that time I wanted to be with you

I liked you and only you

Your "kind"  heart drew me in

Your "caring nature" and always helping me made me fall more

That day he said he had a secret to tell me

That secret little did I know it was that he had "fallen" for me too

He said he "liked" me

I told him that I also had a secret 

The secret was that I liked him too.

That day he told me his secret and I told him mine

Then the message appeared 

“I think I’m ready”

You were ready

My heart glowed at the time 

You asked me to be with you 

“I would love to”

I wish I didn't go with him...

I know this is only the beginning

I am ready this time

but fast forward 3 months,

he left so very soon

Now I remember all that came after that autumn day

Wishing on every star I had never liked him 

Now moved on 

I am happier this way

I found real love on a lovely spring day

To be continued on that spring day