Arteries

I stand suspended

A crossroads

Nowhere to turn 

Nowhere to go

I know I must move

But I wish not to

For one step forward

Is a step without you

The way backward

Has been barricaded

By my own mind

I can no longer be

With or

Have you

Yet I still long for your gaze

The impression of your hand

Against mine

My one

My only

Love

I feel as a petulant child

Denied their favorite toy

Yet I contain the wisdom

That reasons my emotions

I am okay

Am okay

Okay?

I shall say it

To my bleeding

Gaping hole

Where my heart should be

For you have torn it out

Time and time 

On repeat

Ignorance is what you feign

You are too innocent in my eyes

To fully comprehend what you are doing

How can you behold such intelligence?

Yet be so dull?

So oblivious?

My heart has been yours for so long

You ignore it

It is not enough for you

I understand not

Still you pull me in with words

Smiles

Inside jokes

How dare you do such a thing to me

You love me

Not

I love you

Always

Shattered pieces of my heart

At least one will always belong in your hands

Your eyes

I pick them up

Carry them with me

Till they can begin to fuse together

Right before I can place it back inside

You steal it again

Over and over

Let me keep my sanity

My heart

This tendril of red

Fills me up

Makes me smile

Makes sunshine explode in my chest

At the same time

Contains such sharp barbs

That blood runs like a river

From my heart

Icy water flows from my eyes

They remain dry

I have cried into a desert

Such anger curdles my veins

I can not allow this no longer

Logic is not a player in this game

I wish it were

Perhaps then I could understand

A way to rid myself of you

The fire in my soul

I wish it would scorch

Obliterate

Until nothing of you remains

For I know I can never hold your heart

The walls you have built

Are so great

I have tried to knock

Ask to be let in

Denied 

Time and time

On repeat

Oh what a fool I am

To fall not once

Not twice

But over and over

For a soul

Who cannot see the beauty in mine

The courage it had taken to overcome my fear for you

What a tragedy this is

To have fallen in love

But not be enough

For your "other half"

Is love really a thing?

Or just a trick of the mind?

I want to know

For maybe I can trick mine

Into no longer

Yearning

Desiring

Loving 

One such as you