Your performance of a lifetime

littlegreenbag

You have mastered your oldest tricks from your book once again

Hell, I am not even surprised 

You’ve kept surprising me all my life

But now I’m only numb

You’re impressive, to someone maybe

But all I can think about is how used to this shit I already am

 

I’m not sure what are you poisoning me for 

When I did open my heart - all I got back was:

“you are in the wrong”,

“you shouldn’t have done this”,

“you should’ve done that”

 

I have never known encouragement or love from your side the way I thought family does

And I stopped talking

I shut myself up

Because why would I care to hear something that hurts me

 

I keep giving you silent treatment

Because it’s the only way I can stay away from your great performances of a lifetime 

Communication is key - they say

But it doesn’t work like that under these circumstances 

It only adds more anguish to the Circles of Hell

My own personal Hell

 

I hate being home

I hate being home when you’re here

 

You can’t choose your family

You can run away 

But where would I run?

  • Author: littlegreenbag (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: April 6th, 2023 15:49
  • Comment from author about the poem: I have been dealing with a certain toxic relationship my whole life. I guess this was the time it reached it's climax. I wish I had the power to actually show the person that has been addressed this poem/rant , but sadly there is no point. I am sorry for expressing negativity, but I had to get this off my shoulders.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 10
  • User favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek.
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Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    'I keep giving you silent treatment'
    dear Poet,
    this is a powerful tool!
    ignoring someone, when you finally realise
    there is no other way
    is a viable option for insuring
    your survival
    but
    more than the silent treatment
    you need to cultivate an indifference
    to that person's existence
    every day, reinforce your will
    whatever they do
    you must insure, it can't effect you
    cultivate your independence
    let their words, simply flow
    like a pervasive stink, show
    you can't avoid it all
    you can't ignore their taunts and antics
    but
    with each occasion you can overcome
    without reacting
    you grow by marginalising their power
    to influence your life
    and soon, you'll find a cold embrace
    hardening your heart
    till someday, whatever they do
    you realise, how pathetic they are
    from your point of view
    do not race to hate
    that's a self-corrosive influence
    they will try to taint you with
    instead
    imagine them as being too, insignificant
    to hate
    theirs more power in indifference, than hate...
    till then, just survive day to day
    and be proud
    overcoming our toxic families and circumstances
    of birth
    is that first, hurdle
    we all must navigate in life..
    and never apologise
    for letting your Poetry, carry
    some of your burdens in life
    purposed negativity, can be a tool
    of self-therapy
    utilise your Art, as you see fit..
    stay strong!

    • littlegreenbag

      You have no idea how thankful I am for your words. I never thought that a comment would make me cry so much. I'm proud of being a part of this community, because it feels like home, true home.

      Thank you!



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