Today I fell in love myself

Today is my last day 

Today I woke up early 

Today I took a shower and picked out my prettiest clothes

A floral dress I've never had the chance to wear until today 

Along with sparkly earrings I haven't wore in a long time 

And heels that were still in the box 

Today I brushed my hair 

There were many knots, but I managed

Today I put on makeup and perfume

Today I felt beautiful

Before I left I cleaned my apartment

Today it was finally clean 

Today I didn't look at my phone

Today I left it behind instead 

I grabbed my purse and closed the door behind me 

Today I didn't take the elevator 

I took the stairs 

Today was nice day

it had been raining the day before

it was not too hot or too chilly

I took a walk through the neighborhood

I usually take the bus

But today I walked

I took my time walking around, enjoying the scenery

Something I've never taken the time to do

Today I went into a cafe

There was a long line, but I waited

i ordered an overpriced latte and a pastry

Today I didn't take it to go 

I took a seat by the window 

Today I took my time to eat

It was nice 

After I finished I left the cafe 

I went to a convenience store and bought all the things I felt like buying just because I can

Today I did some more shopping

I tried on all the prettiest clothes and bought a few things

I went to sephora and sampled some lipstick colors 

And before I knew the day was almost over

I go back to my apartment complex

I took the stairs again

Today I didn't go on my floor 

Instead I went all the way up to the roof

I took my time and stood at the edge of the building

Today was a good day 

The best it has been in a long time

I haven't checked my phone in hours and I don't need to

It was very slippery 

Today I looked at the sunset instead of a blue screen

I looked behind me into a puddle of my reflection and I realised something

What am I doing?

I try to climb back down but I slip

I grab onto the edge

dangling off the side of the building

As much I wanted to

I don't want to die

I want to live more than anything

But I don't want to live like this 

So I want to look forward to the next today

I struggle to get back up

But if I can't get up myself up who will help me if not me?

Today I put the most effort into wanting to live

Because today I was able to get back up

Because today I want to live differently