Laurence comes out of the closet aged 15.

Laurence: “Mum, Dad come into the living room
                     for a moment. I have something to say.
Mum:        “What is it darling.I have to get dinner ready.”
Dad:          “For Christ’s sake what now.”

Laurence: “Can you both just sit down for a moment
                   this is hard enough to do as it is.It will be
                   impossible if you have an attitude.

Mum:       “Alright darling.Alright we are here.Listening.
Dad:         “I’m not listening.You’ve got 5 minutes and I’m
                  going in to have dinner.Now get on with it.”

Laurence: “Okay Okay don’t rush me.

Dad:           “You’re failing school.I knew it.I spent a
                   fortune to send you to the best school and
                   this is how you repay me. With failure.
                   I always thought you were a loser.But
                   this is the limit.Well you can get a job in
                  in the can factory.It will do you good.”

Laurence: “What? No I’m not failing school.I’m in the
                  top 5% of my class.”

Mum:       “Okay darling.Get on with it. We are listening.

Laurence:  “Mum you know when I was little.I used to
                     fuss about my hair and how I looked.”
Mum:        “Of course darling.Nothing at all wrong with that.

Dad:          “Can someone please get to the point.I’m hungry.”

Laurence:  “And Dad you know how i always got sick when
                     you wanted me to go fishing or camping.”

Dad:           “ Yes I did think that was odd. But your loss”

Laurence:  “Well the truth is I like boys.There I said it”

Mom:        “Said what? So you like boys.You do have some
                     wonderful friends.So what.I mean Patrick is a
                     lovely boy.Always neat and tidy.Such nice hair.”

 

Laurence:   “No you don’t understand I like boys.I want
                     to go to the dance with a boy.You know Simon.
                     We love each other.”

Dad:           “What are you saying.Are you Gay?”

Laurence:   “Yes I guess that word will do.Yes I’m gay.

Dad:          “ You bloody little Poofter Gay Faggot.
                  I should cut your throat with a blunt razor.
                   I can’t look at you.That is it.   
                  I want you out of this house.You’ve got
                   10 minutes to pack and leave,
                  Get the hell out of my sight.

 Mum:      “Maybe the doctors can give you something for it.”

Laurence: “No mum there’s nothing  they can do.”

Dad:        “Get the hell out of my sight.”