I won't be on on weekends or in the summer.
Tired of being in pain.
So I hurt myself.
It's not the pain you think.
So I cause myself physical pain.
Pain. Pain. Pain.
The only thing I can ever feel.
The thing I can only think about.
Emotional pain is too much.
I need something other than this.
I become a strange child.
Taking risks that I never took before.
Saying that I want to die.
Do I really want to die?
No, I don't.
I am just tired of pain.
I cry out steadily asking for help.
But It seems like nobody is picking up the vibes.
If I had love would it still be Lonely.
I was alone and nobody had to show me.
I keep my feelings in from people.
Don't tell them in person.
Only online or in paper.
I wonder if I hit escape would I go to hell.
Moses would say who is going to see and go tell.
I don't want to die.
I just want to feel okay.
I don't want to feel like I am a shitty person.
I don't want to be fucked up.
I don't want to fucking be alone.
I just want to be loved.
Every night when I go to bed, I dream of a family.
I long for a family that I never had.
Longing to be loved that I could never be.
Escaping fucking foster care from 7 years.
Just go to a family.
Never be given up on again.
I promise if I have a family
I wouldn't be a disappointment.
I just want to be loved.
Have a family that I could call my own.
Have a family I could love that I never had.
But, Now i only feel pain.
I feel pain when I think of family.
I feel pain when I think about my dead cousin.
I feel pain when I think of my dad who abandoned me.
I feel pain when I think of my mom who rejected me.
I feel pain when I see everybody living a happy life.
Nobody will ever feel the way I feel.
Nobody will ever feel the pain I feel.
Nobody will ever feel abandoned like I feel.
Nobody will ever have to feel the sorrow I feel.
Nobody will ever have to live the way I do.
Everybody has perfect lives.
They can always be happy.
They will never feel pain.
So, pain is the only way out of this.
So, locking my knee in place when I jump of a tire.
Landing hard on it.
Now, if I put pressure on it.
I feel unbearable pain.
Feels good but not at the same time.
-
Author:
Abby Rose Wise (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: May 1st, 2023 07:24
- Comment from author about the poem: I don't know. I just want to feel pain other than emotional pain. I used a few bad words so I decided to put it as 18+. I don't know a lot of your age. That's why I did this. Wrote this so you guys can understand how I feel. I can't really trust people in person. So, I did it online. Hope you enjoy.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 17
- Users favorite of this poem: B.E.Poet
Offline)
Comments3
this is a beautiful poem. Im so glad that you felt comfortable enough to share your emotions. This poem is truly powerful. You have amazing potential to do great great things. Good luck!!
Thank you.
Oh Abby, no one should ever feel this way,there was a time when I did myself,bur there is hope, there is always hope and love,
There are people out there that care for you, I know we never met, but if had a place and a way my husband and I would take you in in a heartbeat,and show you the love that a family can give
Thank you. All the things I said in the poem is how I am getting tired of life.
I completely understand
I completely understand how you feel, & I also understand that its hard to trust people, but always remember that we all love you no matter what
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