Neutral

I'm tired as I try to better myself. I ask myself what's all this for? I keep on failing even as I succeed.

I'm tired of trying to keep these demons at bay. These feelings consume me. 

As I return to the land that once shattered me, I know I can't bring hope or despair so I'll be neutral. 

As I fight this war from within I realize I need to stop fighting it just no winning it.

As my spirit gives way to the conditions of life, I found myself having nothing of a life it's just been waisted and had no meaning.

Sometimes I want to tear down the world. But I can do is be neutral.

I can never be what I want. Life's just not having it for me. I can't have peace but I can't lash out in chaos.

So I'll show no anger and I'll show no pain, disappointment,  guilt or shame.

Back to the fake and the  lies. Saying I'm ok with a fake smile. All I have left is to be neutral.

I give up trying to plan. All my plans have backfired in some shape or form.
Now that these walls have been crush down. I feel this storm from within and don't know it means.
Feel that the end is near. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. All I wanted is not to feel weak but feel invincible. But the best move is to be just neutral.