MISSED TAKES ( alternate version)

Bobby O

MISSED TAKES alt version 
So I've been trying to write a story,
But it turned into a song
There's no villain
No  Hero's Glory
In this tale they don't belong  
No dramatic pause
No twists. No turns 
No lessons to be learned  
But Now I  sing ,my writings blurry cuz of crying all night long
I’ve been Trying to write this story, But now, it turned into a song. 

A Mythical End , I’m sure , 
already you surmise, cue nary a violin to announce cliche’
No mystery here and no surprise 
The Next Words I spoke 
Darkened The Day
Wrenching Destiny ,a twisted choke 
She Vowed to Leave 
She got her way 
But  Wait, There is a villain in this story 
Complete with lyrics that don’t belong
I’ll Invent a Hero with fabled glory, Ignore the facts , nobody wants to hear my Song 
Print the legend , Grab a pen, then I’ll Turn the tune into the story !
Bobby O
    ◦    

  • Author: Bobby O (Offline Offline)
  • Published: May 3rd, 2023 21:48
  • Comment from author about the poem: Another version w an ending that doesn’t visit the Esoteric style of the last approach.
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 7
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Comments2

  • Parisab

    This is a good demonstration of why songs are instinctual and stories are more innate-the songs are so automatic and don’t require all the elements you mentioned-yet we complicate things-this piece was intellectually stimulating and thank you for that-

  • Bobby O

    Thanks. Wondering how the other version hits you. It’s more exoteric and it’s the version o prefer. Your comment is gracious and much appreciated.

    • Parisab

      I noticed the comment part but don’t seem to find the other version

      • Bobby O

        MISSED TAKES 1st version
        So I've been trying to write a story,
        But it turned into a song
        There's no villain
        No Hero's Glory
        In this tale they don't belong
        No dramatic pause
        No twists. No turns
        No lessons to be
        learned
        But I have to sing cuz my writings blurry cuz
        I've been crying all night long
        Trying to write this story, and it turned into a song.

        Surely, The plot already you surmise, cue nary a violin to announce cliche’
        No mystery here and no surprise
        I spoke those words, the ones I’d sworn I’d never say
        It didn’t twist , It didn’t turn , no lesson learned , She got her way
        So I was wrong , There is a villain in this story
        Complete with lyrics that don’t belong
        Writing not of Heroes Glory
        At Least I turned it all , into a song
        ◦

        • 5 more comments



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