Onward

My feet carried me down the path covered in wild poppies.

The same path you traveled so many times;

The same path I walked months ago where 

violent seas and cascading waves 

matched

the waterfall of grief pouring through my veins.

This time I brought mom to see your favorite beach; to celebrate

your birthday.

A celebration 

Of learning to accept this version of ourselves - 

Us without you.

We walked down the stairs to the sand and 

watched the dogs run into the waves in the beaming sun. 

The sea welcomed their 4 legged joy with each passing wave and

The briny ocean mist ran down my cheeks,

swirling with the saltiness of my tears.

I could have knelt down to try and make 

A sand shaped heart.

But I know now

My heart will forever be trying 

To catch up to losing you.

And so instead 

I planted my feet firmly in the sand;

Gazed into the incoming set of waves.

Breathed in.

Breathed out.

And I kept walking.