Look at Me Now

The silence is loud in my mind

Thoughts are so consuming, I easily get left behind

I scream to call out for help, but no one can hear

Nobody knows the suffering I constantly endure and

they never will understand it makes me want to disappear

The demons forever clash in my brain

What the hell has been keeping me so sane?

Writing, music, family and him is my answer.

Not having any of those things or even losing one

Would surely set free the monster who lies within

It’s funny in a way, maybe not to you, but to me

I’d never thought I see the day I would turn 20

I admit and accepted this already

Planning to die the day you turn 18 isn’t something you

can just erase

Why, you ask? You would’ve had your whole life ahead of you, why so

young?

I felt in my heart, in my soul that I wasn’t strong enough to overcome a

monster so exhausting, so traumatizing

Feeling unworthy to face an obstacle that is so painful

is soul crushing to say the least

Now that I stand here today, alive and well

Knowing that survival is a possibility

Overcoming this demon will come and I’ll

have an amazing story to tell 

I say thanks to myself for not giving up so easily

Why?

Well..

Look at me now.