Quiet Longing

I try to say hi or bye but you don't hear

Or you reply with "Hey, bro" or "See ya, mate"

You speak so straight yet seem so gay

And it makes it so hard for me to exist

When I don't know if I should shoot my shot

Which leads me to think of you and cry

Your existence causes me a lot of pain

Yet I love to stare at your gorgeous face

And listen to your lovely voice

You have no idea the pain I'm in

All caused by my massive crush, scratch that, love for you

I long for your hand to hold

And I long for our bodies to be near

But the closest I can get is about a metre

Without making it seem weird

I long for us two to be one, in public and in private

But we can't even be together

So I try to move on, but I just can't

If God exists and there's a plan

Why would He wish this upon me?

Why would He wish it upon anyone?

This pain is only getting worse and I don't know how to stop

The thing is, I don't want to stop loving you, but I might have to

For the sake of myself