Singing Hearts

nix :)

Your singing makes me feel like I'm floating on clouds

Never to come down

But when you inevitably stop

I come crashing back to Earth

Pain taking over within an instant

 

You don't sing often, but when you do

My heart skips a beat

I soar through the clouds, eyes on you

But then you stop again

The pain settling in once more

  • Author: Nix (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 29th, 2023 06:13
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 4
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Comments +

Comments3

  • Bobby O

    Change your sentence structure Start w what you have cuz it’s nice material but then accept the challenge to rewrite to add dimension and shape just my altered form. Ie: yiur last two lines could Be…

    Sudden recoil visits and tension dwells and bothers not from pain but rather from cue of splendor end your voice trickled to whispers as rare treat your glorious voice desvrnds.

    Now that was quick and needs refinement but the structure change builds interest. It you’re not rewriting you ain’t writing.
    Best intention proffered here my friend

  • Bobby O

    Change your sentence structure Start w what you have cuz it’s nice material but then accept the challenge to rewrite to add dimension and shape just my altered form. Ie: yiur last two lines could Be…

    Sudden recoil visits and tension dwells and bothers not from pain but rather from cue of splendor end your voice trickled to whispers as rare treat your glorious voice desvrnds.

    Now that was quick and needs refinement but the structure change builds interest. It you’re not rewriting you ain’t writing.
    Best intention proffered here my friend

  • Bobby O

    Change your sentence structure Start w what you have cuz it’s nice material but then accept the challenge to rewrite to add dimension and shape just my altered form. Ie: yiur last two lines could Be…

    Sudden recoil visits and tension dwells and bothers not from pain but rather from cue of splendor end your voice trickled to whispers as rare treat your glorious voice desvrnds.

    Now that was quick and needs refinement but the structure change builds interest. It you’re not rewriting you ain’t writing.
    Best intention proffered here my friend



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