Your singing makes me feel like I'm floating on clouds
Never to come down
But when you inevitably stop
I come crashing back to Earth
Pain taking over within an instant
You don't sing often, but when you do
My heart skips a beat
I soar through the clouds, eyes on you
But then you stop again
The pain settling in once more
- Author: Nix (Pseudonym) ( Offline)
- Published: July 29th, 2023 06:13
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 4
Comments3
Change your sentence structure Start w what you have cuz it’s nice material but then accept the challenge to rewrite to add dimension and shape just my altered form. Ie: yiur last two lines could Be…
Sudden recoil visits and tension dwells and bothers not from pain but rather from cue of splendor end your voice trickled to whispers as rare treat your glorious voice desvrnds.
Now that was quick and needs refinement but the structure change builds interest. It you’re not rewriting you ain’t writing.
Best intention proffered here my friend
Change your sentence structure Start w what you have cuz it’s nice material but then accept the challenge to rewrite to add dimension and shape just my altered form. Ie: yiur last two lines could Be…
Sudden recoil visits and tension dwells and bothers not from pain but rather from cue of splendor end your voice trickled to whispers as rare treat your glorious voice desvrnds.
Now that was quick and needs refinement but the structure change builds interest. It you’re not rewriting you ain’t writing.
Best intention proffered here my friend
Change your sentence structure Start w what you have cuz it’s nice material but then accept the challenge to rewrite to add dimension and shape just my altered form. Ie: yiur last two lines could Be…
Sudden recoil visits and tension dwells and bothers not from pain but rather from cue of splendor end your voice trickled to whispers as rare treat your glorious voice desvrnds.
Now that was quick and needs refinement but the structure change builds interest. It you’re not rewriting you ain’t writing.
Best intention proffered here my friend
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.