Circa August 18th, 2021

three bajillion years ago to date,

nevertheless I count blessings,

so please do not hashtag me

as worse than an ingrate

or one whose dire financial straits

attributed to flimflam scam artist,

who fleeced me and when he/she

asked direct questions

heavily trended to obfuscate

which penury now finds me to vacate

unaffordable costs living social on premises

of highland manor apartments.

 

Lemme titillate thee

regarding myself daily

soldiering thru breastworks
sidestepping veritable landmines irks

read out loud to experience

where dangerfield lurks

then twenty five years a husband

unknown marital perks

bachelorhood to die for,

cuz warp and weft

 

courtesy webbed and wedded bliss

incorporates life threatening quirks
analogous to demise Ottoman Turks

dissolution of said empire courtesy

by treaty and came to an end in 1922,

when the last Ottoman Sultan,

Mehmed VI, was deposed

and left the capital of Constantinople

(now Istanbul) in a British warship
courtesy Harris armaments works.

 

Hazardous beyond belief
trumpeted courtesy commander in chief

analogous crossing a landmine good grief

ensnared yours truly

mistaken for Baghdad thief.

Impossible mission to step up pace

when ambling one room to another

footfalls of generic guy approximating brisk,

cuz one misstep could find me flat on back

with damaged spinal disc

worse fate than experiencing

strong arms of law

reach out his hands that frisk

old meister wordsmith

merely ventures innocent risk,

yet may as well

surrender self to Taliban,

who would willingly whisk.

 

Garden variety Caucasian American bloke

afraid to tread amidst belongings strewn

pell mell outranking

rating tornado 5 courtesy

enhanced Fujita Scale,

whereat Good Housekeeping

demonized, insulted, and ostracized spouse.

 

As precautionary safeguard,

I carry treasured amulet

to ward off ill luck

toward life and limb you bet,

especially when gingerly

taking one step after another
modus operandi cachet

with lights turned off

owing steadfastness to prayerful debt

intoned toward guardian angel to get

 

self groping in dark without bifocals

envisioning severely myopic

(blind as a bat generic guy

without spectacles) met

bedded objective where,

menagerie of stuffed animals

(albeit Woodstock favorite pseudo pet),

which aforementioned Peanuts character

called warm fuzzy as sobriquet
wordsmith evinces, identifies,

outshines wit to whet.

 

The missus bursts out laughing,

whom I damnably scoff at and berate
as I trip head over heels

cursing said spouse ever since first date
at Tex-Mex restaurant

in North Wales, Pennsylvania,

a gut level intuitive sense -

even then our sealed fate

cursed analogously

crashing thru Hades gate

antagonistic altercations in actuality

displaced suppressed

 

anger toward parents,

which father and mother (both deceased)

their sole son of did hate

for afflicting psychological trauma

regarding them furiously irate

doling out ultimatums

interestingly enough comfort found
within company of loving mate,

she weaseled compassion

evidenced by poetic prattle I prate,

whereat ye can (of course) highly rate

feedback I eagerly await.