“Touron: a derogatory term combining the words "Tourist" with "Moron" to describe any person who, while on vacation, commits an act of pure stupidity.”
Yellowstone, our national treasure
Bountiful in wildlife pleasure
Seems to be a favorite place
For a new breed of visitor to embrace
There they are, for all to see
Inching closer by degree
Phone in hand to take a selfie
Far too close to be stealthy
Is it bravery makes them bold?
Or lack of brain cells, truth be told
They laugh and giggle, think it’s funny
But soon we’ll see who is the dummy
Mama bison is not amused
At first she seems a bit bemused
Her small calf is unaware
Of the danger she sees lurking there
A Touron has a child in tow
A picture with the calf you know
A prize of which she could boast
In her latest Face Book post
Mama bison’s had enough
She tries to warn them with a bluff
Tail raised, snorting, pawing
But still the fool just keeps on walking
The crowd draws back and shrieks abound
As first she’s flies, then hits the ground
A tale told all too frequently
Of Tourons who won’t let the wildlife be
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Author:
Bella Shepard (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 25th, 2023 15:23
- Comment from author about the poem: My husband and I have frequented our National Parks in the past, Yellowstone being one of our favorites. We never saw this behavior in the years we visited. Signs are posted all over telling visitors to stay well away of wild animals, but too many people don't understand the risk they run, putting themselves and children in harms way, with many suffering serious injury. No way to end a vacation!
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 17
- User favorite of this poem: Doggerel Dave.
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Comments10
Touron? Love it! They should have listened to ‘Mama bison’ and now they better listen to your poem…
Thank you dear friend for reading and your delightful comment. I have to say that in these situations, I'm rooting for the bison.
Bella, if ever there was a word worthy of incorporation into the world’s lexicon it’s ‘touron’. New to me, although what it names is not. They are everywhere, and I may have had occasion to include them in one of my rants sometime. Not just in Yellowstone but in art galleries and museums and streets and beaches with tourist features and monuments and on and…… I now have a fantasy that a bison should be stationed at each of those situations to sort idiot tourists out…
Enjoyed this piece thoroughly… 🤣
Thank you Dave, just love your comment. Perhaps bison as security guards is not a bad idea. I just became aware of this moniker this year. There are videos all over You Tube of these idiots, and a lot of them involve alcohol.
Thanks for returning my call, Bella - our thoughts are obviously in perfect synchronicity on this issue.
I have to confess though that my relationship with alcohol is long and strong - in moderation and more often than not in the privacy of my own home............ Think of it as my medication regimen.
3 more comments
Natural selection?
Thank you so much for reading. I like Natural selection, or perhaps thinning the herd, both work.
Erm, I saw a sign on a door 'Beware of the cat!'. A domestic cat, not that they kept a lion/tiger, etc. Is that near enough to a wildlife park in the UK? heehee.
Oh, and the notice on my door is 'Beware of trouts' (KP') lol.
You stay safe my friend, and beware of cats and trouts. Perhaps a bison would help, they suffer no fools! lol
I wish I'd kept a pet bison now, instead of marrying KP. lol.
Why do so many small children chase away birds and frighten them? And why do the parents let them?
Is it just innocent fun, or are they naughty brats? A bit of both?
There are videos of parents actually trying to get pics of their small child with a bear cub. I think these people have never been to a wildfife area before, or have never in their lives been educated, because they are as dumb as a rock, and I mean no insult to the rock. Take care and be good!
Our city doubles it's population in summer and it's full of "Tourons". They drive like idiots too! Anyway, loved your poem, i see the manner in which you've described in our state park also. Great job!
Thank you for your comments, you know first hand what a menace they can be. Sadly, it seemst to be epidemic in our parks, both state and national, with people who flipantly disregard rules and suffer the consequences. You'd think that others would learn, but they just keep coming. This beautiful country of ours, and its wildlife, deserves respect. Fortunately the majority of us understand that. Take care my friend!
Some people are just plain stupid when being with wildlife, I always treat wildlife with absolute respect.
Andy
Here, here my friend! The responsible adults in the room will always be respectful. It's a shame that the adults who engage in this egregious behavior are not teaching their children respect, in any form. Take care my friend!
probably one of the most apt neogilisms I have ever encountered .. and woven so seamlessly and well throughout your bloomin brilliant poem Bella .. I heard of similar behaviour being demonstrated by grossly irresponsible so called adults involving bears when I last visited Canada some years back ... Neville
Thank you dear Nev for such a touching comment, it means a great deal to me. There seems to be a rash of this behavior going around. I wouldn't be surprised if we keep finding new terms for these folks in other areas, there are a lot of morons to go around. Take care my friend!
Yellowstone seems to bring out
the moronic in visitors
so many wildly unbelievable tales
and they never learn
rather with each generation, becoming
more ignorantly bold...
(where's Hemingway and his rifle ink
to protect his beloved Yellowstone
of scenic tranquillity)
Your words are too true, unfortunately. We need Hemingway and his rifle ink these days, instead of morons taking video of more morons, and posting. It's becoming epidemic, only wish there were a vaccine for this, but then those who need it would never take it. Let's keep hope alive!
Bella I love the term it fits. This reminds me of a trip I made to Yellowstone years ago where I saw a tourist shake the antlers on a bull moose to get it to stand up so he could take a picture. I was sure I was going to get a good shot of someone getting stomped to death but he was lucky with the beast standing up and posing for him.
Thank you so much for reading, and sharing your experience. I saw a photo this morning of a bison who had pinned a guy to the ground with its hoof, when said visitor got too close. Fortunately the gentleman was allowed to get up and walk away. I'd say the bison had better manners than the Touron.
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