Dear Mom,

I asked you to take them away

In case I end up doing something wrong

You were hesitant

But you took and placed them in the stationary holder in the cupboard in front of me

No locks No passwords needed

Do you trust me that much 

When you keep texting me incessantly where I am now

Calling me non-stop if I did not respond fast enough

Because No I know that you do not trust me at all

What you believe in

Is yourself, your teachings and your belief that this is all a phase

What can I say

It has been four years

And I am still doing it

Thanks for not noticing my obvious calls for help

I can never bring this up ever again

Because you can never accept that your own daughter was hurting herself

You think how could a normal human harm herself on purpose

I wish you would know that it is not just a phase

That it has inevitably become my habit

A part of my life that I have learned to accept

And maybe some day just one day you would too.

At least now I have something to look forward to 

No matter how rare the pigs fly