Just Like That, We Have To Start All Over

It amazes me how life loves to knock you down when things are finally starting to get good,

And it destroys you inside, even though you know that you are doing the best that you could.

But then once you are already down, you end up getting kicked down into the lowest place that you can go,

And you start to realize that you don't think you can take another blow.

That you are trying so hard to get better and to turn things around,

But you are so tired of getting kicked when you are already down.

And you hate to admit it, but there are times when you scare yourself,

Because all of the dark thoughts that are spiraling in your head can no longer keep being pushed back on the shelf.

And just like that, you had a slip up and you realize that you need to start over again,

And you are having trouble remembering a time when you were genuinely happy, and you try to think back to when,

To when things were better and you were at the best place that you could have ever actually been in,

And you so badly want to go back to the way that it once had been.

When me and you first met, and it seemed like you were just as excited as me,

And, I didn't realize it at the time, but you were the one who had the key.

They key to being the reason that I genuinely smiled and felt good in a long time,

And, in that moment, I really thought you were going to end up being mine.

But I guess that was my mistake, was placing my happiness in the palm of your hands,

Because where I saw a future with you, you had other plans. 

And now all of a sudden, it is like I never even existed to you,

And for a really stupid second, I was starting to think that maybe you wanted me too.

But now we aren't talking at all, and I don't know the reason why,

Because I really gave you the benefit of the doubt, and I thought you weren't that kind of guy.

But just like before, instead of being the reason why I smile, you are the reason I cry,

And I am starting to wish that when we met, I never even bothered to say hi.

But for so long, you were the reason for my happiness, my tears, my anger, and my pain,

And even though it hurts to admit, I know that the love I have for you is never going to feign.

But you set me back the other night, and I hate to admit it, but I need to restart,

Because I am trying so hard to forget you, but you live so deep in my head and my heart.