Mourners

This piece is about mourning a version of my partner that once was and submitting to that reality.

 

Sad day when a murder goes unnoticed

silence of the lambs - hesitance in the stands

cry me a river - quiver - shiver

picked up my heart and misdelivered

I was certain you were the one

hard to make sense of what's done

and now I find myself in square none

exhuming fail-safes - confusing escapes

route's uncoordinated

I think I'm lost without you - and yet abandoned by you

so I write myself: "self: right yourself"

despite yourself - come back around - from beside yourself

upright yourself

and begin.....to let her go.....again

and that's the thing about it

it's that duplicate pain

that exponentialed strain

excuses, explains...oh what a drain

Samsoning Delilah

scalped him to the brain

now I'm left to pick up the pieces of my worth

social engineering skills - feelings unearthed

you should've caressed me

you chose to care-less me

in your presence, yet you left me

and now I'm forced to put hands on the love I shelter for you

no longer able to sustain your out-of-touchness

caught in your web

they say to yell 'fire' is a lot better than 'help'

'cause while people respond to both calls as a threat

more than water is heeded to extinguish the 'help'

what a cruel act you've bound 'round my neck

kill what I've  nurtured? my heart? my soul's depths?

shut down in the interest of self preservation

how do you unlove? and find your problem solved?

dug a grave and spent the night reminiscing

pearly days, Atlanta braves - we were so good together baby

but now I have a dark heavy feeling in my chest that we won't find our way back this time

not casting blame - it barely bears no weight/wait

it's like being at a funeral engaged in a silly debate

why the deceased - ceased unto be - likely be caused - needlessly

won't change the loss, mourning, nor feel

and perhaps the saddest fact about that funeral?

barely crowded.....I'm the sole attendee