I Have Wondered...

Have you ever looked back and wondered "why?"
Some days are pearls under clear blue skies.
Songs fill the air, mockingbirds sing,
no end to the beauty that life can bring.

Then there are days, when, for no reason at all,
the sun won't shine, temperatures fall,
it's frigid and dark, a wretched day
when joy is undone and swept away.

Do you look back at the life you've lived
and wonder what blessing you've been able to give
to family and friends over all these years
in the midst of sunshine and sometimes tears?

I've wondered as I look back to see
the paths I've taken that shaped and formed me,
the purpose, the meaning?  These years have flown by
and now in this moment I sit down to try
to see how the pieces have fallen in place.
Times when good fortune or unrecognized grace
caused me to turn to the left, not the right.
To attempt, to endeavor, sometimes in spite
of all the odds that say "Don't try."
And I've looked in the mirror to ask, simply, "Why?"

Have I made a difference?  Did I build or destroy?
Did I leave the footprints of peace or joy?
These haunting questions fill my mind
and sometimes the answers I cannot find.

And I wonder how I will be inclined
to interpret the score on this life-card of mine.
Runs, hits, and errors...some of each
but each one a moment that tried to teach
that life is simpler than I try to propose,
the answer most often is right under my nose.
It's the people I've loved, and who've loved me, too.
It's the times we pulled each other through
the good and the bad, hand in hand.
The times we've been called to courageously stand
for justice and truth in the darkest hour.
The times I've admitted that an un-namable power
prompts the better part of me,
and, in my blindness, helps me see
that perfection is not the goal to seek.
Fulfillment is to bless the poor and the weak.
Have you ever looked back and wondered "Why?"
Only to hear:  Stand up and try.