an obituary

 

on a lazy afternoon, yellow with the sun, your hands were soft,

you had a bit of a sun inside your chest,

kept it bright.

now that the shadows are around us —

i welcome you.

 

you fell into ocean, fell into me, for me

to fill you to the brim

with sorrows.

if you ever think i died in vain,

darling, i’ll keep

it plain.

 

i’m every night you’ve spent on the floor,

i’m every lover you fell for,

i’m every sunset, everything you’ve read and every May we witnessed,

i’m your first cherry cigarette,

i’m every tear that escaped your eyes,

every mirror you look at, not knowing i look from the other side.

i’m every bill you paid, every pill you swallowed.

i’m every death you’ve ever seen,

every single breath you caught,

each souvenir you brought from overseas to put on top shelf and forget, let dust do all the work.

now i’m the dust you wipe off with your fingers.

 

how you’re looking at me — bystander’s eyes,

how bitter — your hands don’t recognize my hands.

but if you think you want me, we can try,

hold me tight as we dance.

fogged up windows, deep brown light.

my dear, will you stay the night?

deadly cold, i keep my lips sealed.

my dear, will you say a thing?

 

i’m a stranger to your heart,

but you’re forever in mine.

my forms were shaped for and by your hands,

all parts of me find their way in you,

i belong to you

and obediently

rot in you,

my sweetheart.